Lackey Antics

Sick Baby. Update. Girl Talk.

2012-01-27T12:59:00.002-06:00

Well, hello there, Friday!

This week flew. Largely because a certain little girl had a fever from Sunday through Tuesday and I was sucked into a time warp where I wore jammies all day, looked like a troll, and didn’t leave the house except to go to the pediatrician’s office. Paisley was not a happy camper and there were times that her discomfort broke my heart.

Our daughter is an odd bird. Pais and I get to the doc’s office on Monday morning (SO happy they got us in early!) and I looked around at all the kiddos. Little bodies wrapped in blankets and huddled on mommies’ laps. Children clinging to a parent for solace. And then you have Paisley. Not only did she want her own chair, but she wanted there to be an empty chair between she and I. She was content to look at a book and be on her own even though she was ill. I’m sure I looked like mother of the year, but as long as she was sitting properly and not creating a ruckus, I didn’t mind. She has been an independent little squirt since the day she opened her eyes – she just isn’t “snuggly.” If Pais falls and wipes out to the point that tears flow, she’ll come running to me and let me rock her for a bit… but that’s about it. She’s a funny bird, that Paisley. Anyhoo, she had a virus and it has mostly run its course with the exception of a residual cough that likes to wake us all up at 2:00 and 4:00 a.m. every morning.

There have been more sewing shenanigans. I made a bunting and it turned out quite lovely! I have another project in the works that involves an octopus. Intrigued yet? I have to admit that I’m digging this sewing thing. Once the play room is finished, I might have to try my hand at a dress for Paisley or something. I can’t believe I just typed that. Who is this?!?

Tomorrow, we’re making a final push to finish up house projects and do the final deep clean. We reorganized our garage/storage last weekend and were able to cull out more belongings that we don’t need. Our contractor that was supposed to do the flooring by the back door stood us up two Saturdays in a row (boo, hiss!), so we’ll have a new guy out next Thursday. No house progress was made this week due to Paiser being under the weather and me feeling tired. I anticipate that the house will relist in early February. We’re hoping to have things looking super good right off the bat and are praying that the right buyers will find us. We are eager to move but we also want the house to go to people who love it as much as we do. I’m anxious about living in the “on the market” lifestyle again, but it needs to happen – lots of good changes will result. I keep repeating this so that maybe I’ll stop procrastinating. I am my own worst enemy at the moment.

Jeromy’s and my official anniversary is coming up! We were married on Leap Day in 2008, so in about a month, we will have the first Feb 29th since that special time. When we were engaged, we thought it would be neat to have a fun reason to celebrate every four years and make ourselves do something super extra special on leap years. We didn’t go on a honeymoon when we got married, so we envisioned something along the lines of a cruise for 2012 back in the day, but that simply cannot happen for many reasons. Even so, we are cooking up some ideas to do something besides a dinner/movie date. (Anyone out there ever found a unique anniversary activity and/or can recommend a weekend getaway spot?) I’m excited to celebrate with my cute hubby.

Our fist Greenling local box arrives next Wednesday – we are pretty pumped about it. We hope that it will influence us to eat more seasonally and build our meals off of veggies and such. Our recent, new recipes have been a positive shift for us and I hope it will only continue.

Something fun – I will be participating in a blog link up activity around Valentine’s Day with some other fantastic bloggers. My post is going to involve an adventure and random people - eep!

If the words “menstrual”, “period”, or “cycle” give you the creepies, then stop reading and enjoy your weekend.

Still there? Okay. I had heard some online chatter about this thing called the Diva Cup. It replaces pads/tampons and was apparently amazeballs from the way people talked about it. I know that when I was regularly going out to wastewater plants for work, I was always taken aback that applicators and associated products made up a huge bulk of the trash (like more than you would assume) – it is totally as gross as it sounds. That firsthand visual made an impact on me, but I never knew a good alternative. Until now. After reading tons of reviews, I tried it out and have to say that everything I heard was true. Yes, you have to be a bit more comfy with your body, but after the science experiment of getting/staying preggo and giving birth, this is nothing. There is a learning curve, so prepare for that (i.e. – wear a pad for backup), but once you get the hang of it, it’s truly fantabulous. The menstrual cup can be worn up to twelve hours at a time, doesn’t leak, and doesn’t have an odor. It was so nice to not have to figure out how to get my lady products to the restroom at work (usually up the sleeve, right?) and it was more comfortable than anything I have worn in the past. I purchased my Diva Cup at Central Market, but I think you can get a better deal online. The YouTube videos were super helpful and informative, so I suggest checking those out before purchasing. Sidenote: came across a video that showed how tampons dissolve and leave fibers in your body – um no. I wish I had heard about the Diva Cup years ago, so I wanted to spread the word (because I’m pretty sure that dudes don’t read this).

Now that we’re done with girl talk, here is another cute Paisley face to look at to clear your mental palate. Over and out.

Good Things

2012-01-16T16:17:00.003-06:00

This weekend was filled with lots of sweet moments and lots to be thankful for.

Paisley visited her cousin, Joshua, for a few hours Saturday while we rearranged furniture in our house and packed down toys/clothes in her room (which always leaves me feeling wonky). The progress on the house is creeping along and I’m still hoping we can relist later this month. We made large strides Saturday but everything is now a bigger mess at the same time. I keep telling myself it will all get done and my surroundings will be clean again. My phone beeped and Susan sent me a picture that Joshua drew of him and Paisley – so cute!

I experienced the satisfaction of completing a project that required a new skill. I sewed some hanging bookshelves for Paisley’s room and even though it was a super simple pattern (basically make a closed pillowcase with fold-overs for the dowels to go through), it involved a sewing machine. I’ve always been intimidated about using sewing machines in the past, so finishing this project may open up all sorts of doors for me. Yay! I still have a couple of projects to go, but once everything is done and put up, I will post photos of Paisley’s playroom.

Over the weekend, it seems that Paisley erupted with all sorts of skills that made us proud of her. She successfully said the words “duck” and “owl” and at one point, she grabbed the front of her diaper and made the sign for “change.” So impressed with her!

This Sunday brought the beginnings of nursery at church (which every LDS mother out there knows is a call for celebration). For those not of my faith, our church is broken up into three one-hour portions: sacrament (worship service with entire congregation), Sunday school, and then the women and men have separate meetings for the third hour (Relief Society and Priesthood, respectively). While we have a mother’s lounge, there is not a set “class” for young children to be left at until they turn 18 months. Up until this point, the parents take their kiddos to class with them. Which is a breeze when they are newborns who are content to sleep in a carrier and a nightmare when they are walking, babbling whirlwinds of chaos. Our experience has been the latter lately. I can’t even remember the last time that I made it through Relief Society. To be honest, I get a little anxious in Sacrament Meetings, as I count down how many prayers/quiet lulls I need to get through without Paisley erupting with sound/commotion. Queuing up different books/finger puppets/teether toys to anticipate such events has become a delicate dance for Jeromy and I. I think I’m also more sensitive to it than others around me are because she’s “my kid” and I don’t want to be a source of distraction for others.

Anyhoo, Paisley is still a few weeks away from the 18-month mark but we thought we would take her to the nursery class and stay in there with her since we end up juggling her during our other classes anyways. She was a rock star and I couldn’t have been any more proud. She played with toys and was content to go off away from the other kids and just do her own thing (she scored a riding toy and had a blast). Then, it was song time. They got out their chairs and Paisley sat like a good girl while the music instructor started. All of our singing at home paid off because she did the hand movements and was focused on her task. I was so tickled and felt like my heart would explode with pride. She loves music and it really shows every time there is singing around her. All the kiddos lined up for snack time and she found her chair. At one point before snack started, she turned to us and waved “bye bye.” Since she seemed fine and content, the teacher said that she could stay and Jeromy and I could go on to class. I told her that she could come get me if she fussed. We slipped out and paused and heard nothing. After a few minutes, Jeromy peeked in the window and she was fine. No crying, no meltdown… nothing. Easy as pie. When we picked her up, she came out with a worksheet about prayer from her lesson time – fun! I felt like running down the hall yelling “boo-yeah!” to anyone who would listen. I called my mother and gushed instead. Heh.

This experience gave me a bit of comfort. Most women in my congregation stay home with their small children and can be there to work with them nonstop. Which is awesome. So awesome, in fact, that I have reoccurring guilt about being away from Paisley during the work week and am constantly focused on what I can’t give her (even though this arrangement is financially necessary at this time… we are working on getting on higher ground). But after my experience yesterday, I realized… she’s just fine. More than fine. She was stellar in there and blew away any expectations one might have. She follows directions, participates, shows joy, and doesn’t fuss. She has confidence and knows we will come back. I can’t hope for more than that. Jeromy and I always comment on what a good kid she is… and it is completely true. I’m happy when experiences like this make all the daily, behind-the-scenes stuff boil to the surface and makes you think, “Huh… I haven’t screwed up as bad as I thought.” All the songs over and over. Routines. Every bit of it counts and manifests itself somewhere else (much like spiritual habits – imagine that). I now understand why parents cry at recitals or how sloppy finger paintings are displayed with pride. Little accomplishments act as signposts in the road to let you know that you are going in the right direction. For a while, you trudge along, wondering if you are on course and then your child shows kindness or obedience and it quickens your steps and makes you push ahead with new vigor. I love being a mother. More than any title that I’ve ever held.

It was a good weekend with good things indeed.

Things I Want for my Daughter

2012-01-13T15:19:00.003-06:00

There are days where Paisley just "looks" older. I don't know how to describe it, but we'll have strings of days that are all kinda the same and then she just... changes. Longer limbs. Independence. Fluctuations in weight. Her stride when she walks. Waves of new skills. Something so subtle yet so distinctive that it makes both Jeromy and I pause and just try to hold onto the remnants of the previous stage. Yesterday was one of those days. I kept telling Jeromy "she looks... different." I still can't wrap my head around the ebb and flow of time when raising a child.

I know this trend only continues, but Paisley's awareness has become so acute. I've been thinking a lot about what I want for her. And what kind of mother I want to be. Below is a starter list of some things that I really want to do/instill in Miss Paisley...

To know that adherence to the gospel of Jesus Christ will shield her from many types of adversity and will strengthen her steps as she walks through inevitable trials (when we sing about Jesus at night, she will point to a photo of Jesus on the wall and we tell her that He loves her - it's a start)

Courage to try new things, even if failing is a likely outcome

A heart for service

Manners (She signs "please" now - yay! I think she thinks "thank you" is blowing kisses.)

To be encouraged and praised multiple times daily (she already joyfully claps on her own when we finish a song or task!)

To find a physical activity and a creative activity she really enjoys and support her efforts in them

I want our home to be a hub of gathering and a welcoming environment for her friends on a frequent basis

Appreciation and respect for nature

Love of reading (which thankfully has gone well so far - kind of an unspoken rule in our house: if Paisley brings you a book, you drop what you are doing and read it to her.)

Making things together to cultivate skills and sweet memories

To attend every activity/concert/game/ceremony/whatever she has that I can feasibly make it to

Learn how to bait a fishing hook on her own

A good work ethic

Lots of hugs and daily "I love you's"

A trip to Disney World

I never want her to feel alone

The importance of education

To know how to change a tire (thankful my dad taught this to me when I was 16 - I was able to change my boyfriend's tire just a few weeks later)

That she stay with the same group of kids through most of her school years

For her to be told and know that Jeromy and I think she is absolutely beautiful inside and out

Bring her ice cream to her room or take her out for a girl date after her first breakup (Which gives Jeromy time to hide the body, right? Ha - just kidding.)

To know that if she gets herself in a sticky situation, she can always call us for a ride

Strong holiday traditions

That she can always ask me for help and to know that I will freely give it with no strings attached

I want her to experience passion and fall head over heels in love with a wonderful man who will cherish her as much as her daddy cherishes me

To buy her the wedding dress of her dreams when the time comes

That's what I'm starting with. I'm sure that these goals will shift or be added to as Paisley grows, but we have to have a starting point to aim for.

Number Two

2012-01-12T16:35:00.004-06:00

There has been a silent back-and-forth going on that started shortly after Paisley arrived: are we going to have another child? It seemed like a blink of eye and Paisley was a year old and I started getting this question from people. And now she's almost 18 months and we get it more. I totally don't mind getting it, because frankly, that's just how it goes, right? I just don't know how to answer it honestly without either sounding like a horrible human being or having a 15-minute discussion to clarify my answer. A series of events and ill-timed stomach bug recently compounded the issue like a spotlight and caused me to pause.

Some weeks, I'm totally against the idea. Some weeks, I'm for it. And most of the time... I really just don't know.

For me (I say "me" because my sweetie husband is totally fine with having another kiddo and I've mostly been the holdup), the decision to have a second baby is shaping up to be way way harder and totally more scary than the decision to have a baby in the first place. Weird, huh? Before Paisley, we knew we wanted a child (I was getting close to shoving a baby in my purse while at Target). I desired her with everything I had. But now... my heart is still and content as my head occasionally churns with deliberation.

My internal dialogue goes something like this...

If Paisley is an only child, we can give her the best. We won't have to divide time and resources and can pour all our love and effort into her. I'm afraid another child will take away from what we want to give her.

Cliché, but I feel that there's no way I can love another baby as much as Paisley. She is everything I dreamed of and more. What if I secretly don't love my second child as much as my first? I've been told that it just happens and your heart accommodates or grows or whatever, but who would ever even admit to unequal love even if they felt it? And if I don't have that special bond, will I be a terrible mother to Baby #2?

When I see damaging sibling relationships, I want Paisley to be an only child and never go through that.

I anticipate that Paisley will have a family and/or network of her own by the time Jeromy and I pass away, so I'm not too worried about her being "alone" when we move on.

A child shouldn't be brought into the world just to be someone else's sibling.

When Paisley was placed in my arms, my heart was full and has been ever since. I don't obsess and ache for a second child like I did for Paisley before I got pregnant. Does that mean I don't want another kiddo?

There are days that I barely have my act together and feel completely spent as I lay her down at night. And that's with only one kiddo. How can I possibly manage double (and how on earth do people handle even more kids than that)? Maybe I suck at parenting?

Experiencing pregnancy loss before Paisley was really hard. I have a fear of going through that again.

Jeromy and I are still learning how to nurture and care for our marriage and balancing our roles as spouses and parents. Now that Paisley is past the baby stage, I feel like we are starting to establish a new normal and are finding a good mix of roles and enjoying each other as something besides parenting partners - will another child set back our efforts (harder to arrange date nights, less time for one another at end of day, more stress, etc.)?

How does one go grocery shopping or do simple tasks with two children (that shopping cart seat can only hold one)? My mind explodes thinking about the logistics.

Financially, things will be double. Shoes. Doctor visits. Food. Gifts. The whole she-bang. By default, it means that Paisley will get less.

How do I make sure a second child from gets the attention he/she deserves? For example, I don't want a full baby book/tons of pictures for Paisley and a not-so-filled-out book/less photos for Baby #2. Will I be as "into" the second kiddo as I was Paisley?

I'm petrified that one child will receive more resources than the other. I've seen too many well-meaning parents do this unintentionally - how do we remain fair and balanced with time, money, expectations, effort, etc.?

But then the other side of me contends...

Most every adult that was an only child I personally know wants a family of
multiple children. They feel that having siblings is important. That says
something big to me. Some have even described a type of loneliness that really
touches me.

The October 2011 General Conference talk, "Children" by Neil L. Anderson
really touched me deeply and sets the stage for looking at things through a
spiritual perspective. Am I letting temporary issues/concerns block an eternal
outcome?

I am a better person because my brother was in my life. He helped to shape my character and I've been inspired by many of his qualities. And I know that we
are grateful for Jeromy's sisters and the good times we have with them.

There are days where I feel like I have the hang of things and have more
love to give.

More of a good thing is a good thing, right?

If someone came up to us today and said they had a baby that really needed us to
be his/her parents and asked us to adopt that child, we totally would. In a
heartbeat. Doesn't that mean on some level that we desire another little person?

Paisley and a sibling can be family for each other when Jeromy and I are
gone.

When I see strong sibling relationships, I want to have another baby right
away.

I like it when siblings are close in age. A decision needs to be made soon.

Paisley gives Jeromy and I the greatest joy - would another child add to
that joy for all of us?

Witnessing big, happy families makes my heart warm. I want that.

Babies are hard, but I feel that we've learned a lot of lessons that would
make a second one a little easier to transition (aka - we're not total "newbies" at
this anymore).

Jeromy and I genuinely enjoy being parents. Like - a lot. I'm blessed to have an engaged partner that is mega involved. I'm never going at it alone.

I've seen multi-kid families with happy parents and kids who genuinely get
along and enjoy each other's company, even into adulthood. It can be done. We
can have that (right?).

No parent I know could ever fathom their lives without any of their
children. Even families with a tribe of kids and/or an unexpected surprise.

So that's where I am with everything. It's totally a personal issue and there isn't a magic number that fits every family; I've seen incredible families of all sizes. I'm intrigued how others handle family planning decisions and what the reasons are behind them. Like - did they go into marriage with a number in mind or did things just unfold? Was there an "a-ha" moment; were there reasons behind every added child or did it just feel right? The same goes with how families determine a stopping point (barring medical/financial issues, of course). And how did additional children change/impact relationships with previous children and their spouses?

Whether we add to our family (if it in God's will - it's not like I can just place an order) or we stop with our sweet Paisley, I want to make sure that the decision is for the right reason(s) and not rooted in selfishness/fear/lack of foresight. I know that I need to hit my knees hard and seek confirmation one way or another. I have faith that if I do my part by asking and am sensitive to impressions, God will answer when the time is right.

Luckily, we are as happy as clams right now and relish being a family. And for tonight, I can honestly look at Paisley and tell her she is my favorite child. :)

Learning

2012-01-10T07:34:00.003-06:00

Last night...

I made a vegetarian meal.

Everything was fresh.

I used the phrase, "Maybe we should have a potted herb garden so that we can grow our own basil."

I learned how to mince garlic (thank you, YouTube).

I broiled something for the first time. I found out that you can warp a pan by broiling something in your oven.

...
...
...

I fully expect the world to end today.

Mind Soup

2012-01-09T12:51:00.001-06:00

First off - hooray for a New Year! The best events of my life have occurred during even numbered years. Being born (thanks, Mom!), graduating high school, graduating college, getting married to my sweetie, Paisley's arrival, etc. So when the calendar rolled around to 2012, I felt some relief for the future... I think it is going to be a good one for us. No resolutions for me personally... still going to keep chipping away on my 101 in 1001 list, though. I hope to attack it a little more vigorously than I did in 2011 since I didn't make a big dent, but it's fun to look back and see what I learned and accomplished so far.

Learned a valuable parenting lesson last week... Panatem is a miracle worker. It's a diaper cream and it succeeded where every other cream on the shelf failed. Poor Paisley was suffering despite our attempts. We had to order it online (anyone seen this stuff in a store?) but it cleared up an epic outbreak in no time. Just had to share in case it helps any other struggling parent. Paisley's mood improved dramatically as well once said problem was resolved. She was getting a little cranky.

After being hunkered down for most of the month of December, we are starting to emerge and catch up with all of the lovely people in our lives. Last Monday, I made cookies and my friend, Ali, came over to the house. Refreshing doesn't even quite cut it. It was nice to have time to do something leisurely and visit with my sweet friend. Even though we have a lot of work to do before relisting the house, it has been nice to carve out some bits of free time and enjoy. The fact that cookie dough was involved doesn't hurt, either. Heh.

Last Tuesday, we gathered at the Williams' place along with the Eastmans for hot chocolate (which is why I was making cookies Monday). Amy, the ever-pinnacle of hostess with the mostess, created a hoco spread like you wouldn't believe - choc and peppermint chips, whipped cream, toppings, etc. It had been too long since we all had gathered and it was lovely to catch up and unwind. The kiddos played. Stories were exchanged. And I walked away wanting to do it again soon. The Williams' and Eastmans are incredible families and upon leaving them, I always feel so thankful that they were brought into our lives.

We were happy to catch dinner with some of Jeromy's family and see all of them. Janie hurt her hand up at the cabin over New Years weekend, so we hope her recovery is speedy. My Mom made extra spaghetti one night and sent it home with us for dinner (rock my socks) - Paisley approved!

Other than some wicked tummy issues that popped up, this weekend was perfect. Lots of time with my two favorite people. Jeromy and I actually did some meal planning and were thoughtful and deliberate with our shopping. I bought things that I've never purchased before (PS - who knew that Target would come through for me and have basil when Sprouts didn't have any?). We have some dishes that we are looking forward to trying - going to do a veggie dish this evening, so I'm pretty excited about that. Also this weekend, we were able to find a good home for a piece of furniture that we no longer have room for, deliver a gift to cute Dafni (who is due any day now - yay!), Jeromy changed the brakes on my car, and we put Christmas away. I wasn't feeling well for part of the weekend so I was able to get in some needed naps on top of it all. For the first time in a while, I woke up on a Monday morning feeling rested and prepared for the week ahead (even though the mood outside suggests different).

I'm super excited to start on the sewing projects for Paisley's playroom this week. Isn't this fabric just yummy? Mom went with Paisley and I to pick it out and I was glad to have her help. She showed me some sewing basics and I hope to have some finished projects in the upcoming days. Eee!

Things are pretty quiet other than this. I love it. After sewing shenanigans wrap up, we need to start back on getting the house reorganized/cleaned to sell. The exterior was recently repainted and we're having a slate landing installed by the back door later this week to replace some of the damaged flooring in that area. Lots of organizing, packing, scrubbing, cleaning, etc. will follow. It's amazing how two months and holidays can turn your once-spotless house into a war zone. I'm hoping our new changes will appeal to buyers and that the right people will fall in love with the house. Many of our current plans hinge on us moving, so I'm praying that I'll have the patience to "hurry up and wait" again.

The Christmas Post

2012-01-05T21:00:00.004-06:00

I had promised to elaborate on our fantastic Christmas. With New Year's come and gone, I realize Christmas is old news, but I still want to share the fun that we had...

I stayed up on Friday night (December 23rd) baking my little heart out. I made 80 chocolate chip cookies and 24 cupcakes... all from scratch (even the icing). This is the equivalent of a piece of straw becoming a flamingo. I wanted to come prepared with yummy things for both sides of our families and prove to myself that I can weld a mixer and spatula. My kitchen showed signs of the struggle.

The cookies turned out great. My cupcakes were a giant fail. I wanted to recreate a north pole cupcake I saw on Pinterest, but when I awoke the next morning, the canes had started to "melt" or something. Blast. And then I realized that while my cupcakes were edible... they didn't have the consistency/taste I wanted. Here is a picture of them after they started to melt... sad little cupcakes. The ones without poles didn't look half bad, though. I'm hoping to reattempt some cupcakes soon so I can get the hang of it.

I had a Pinterest success, though. I hate buying gift cards for others (due to it being impersonal), but there were some situations where I really needed to. In an effort to spice them up a bit, I stole an idea of making them into a snow globe. You get a jar, hot glue the card to the inside of the lid, add glitter/water/floaty things, and *poof* - fun gift card presentation! They were a hit!

On Christmas Eve morning, we gathered with Jeromy's family at the Howards' home. It was beautifully decorated and Paisley was taken with their tree and holiday decor. We all wore pajamas, which made for a comfy and fun spin on things. I'm also happy that Janie made time for us to get some family photos of each group and the grand kids together - they turned out precious!

The food was centered around breakfast/brunch and it was divine. Breakfast tacos, muffins, cinnamon rolls, sweets... incredible. The visiting and enjoying each other was really a blast and Jeromy and I both agree that it was our favorite Christmas. Things were laid back and perfect.

After filling our tummies, it was time for gifts. And oh my - nothing prepared us for the spoiling of Miss Paisley. Even though she doesn't quite get the full extent of Christmas yet, she knew that what she was opening was something to be excited about. My heart almost burst out of my chest when I saw her eyes light up and she would get thrilled. Blocks, a couch, farm fridge toy, animal book, doll, doll clothes, doll stroller, clothing, etc. - gift after gift was opened and she was so tickled. Ethan, Kaitlyn, and Joshua all received really neat things as well! It seems like everyone put tons of thought and effort into every gift given, which made it so special. For the last few years, us adults have done a Secret Santa exchange. David had Jeromy and Janie had me - and we were blown away by their generosity! We both received large boxes stuffed with all sorts of goodies.

(PS - I love this photo because Paisley makes this EXACT same expression all the time)

After presents, we all relaxed and the kiddos played with toys. P's cousins really got into some of the games they received and Paisley was content to roll her stroller around everywhere (but don't get in her way - it will make her give you "stank eye" face!). Time truly flies when you're having fun and it was well into the day before we knew it.

We had just enough time to pack up, head home, unload, Paisley to nap, get dressed, and repack before heading to my mom and dad's for Christmas Eve evening. There was a scrumptious spread of food and more warm company. My brother had to work until late evening, so we started gifts. The theme of thoughtfulness continued and we were touched by the effort put into everything. My parents and I were excited to surprise Jeromy with a Kindle Fire - it was a hit! Big surprise... Paisley was showered yet again with a multitude of fun gifts - rocking horse, "Bob" (Big 'Ol Bear), books, stuffed rabbit, ornament, hat/shawl set, etc. So so so fun to relive a child's thrill through your own little one! We were so happy when Alan came home a bit earlier than expected - it wasn't long before he was in on shenanigans, too! (Mom and Dee-Dee requested no photos be posted, but they were there in the middle of it all and had a good time.) Before we knew it, it was time to get home and get Paisley in bed before Santa came.

We dressed Paisley in the jammies we had given her earlier that night and set up milk and cookies for Santa. Paisley wanted to test out the cookies to make sure they were tasty enough for Santa. She approved.

When Christmas morning rolled around, it was clear that Paisley good behavior all year had paid off! Santa had obviously realized that Paisley had been trying to climb on everything in the house and needed something that she would have permission to climb all over (video HERE). It didn't take Paisley long to figure out how to scale the little rock wall and sit up on the ledge with the slide. Ever her father's child, she motioned that she wanted her laptop (also brought by the man in red) and was happy to sit and "compute" up in her castle. She thinks it is pretty cool that she can be up high and look around.

It was a beautiful day and Jeromy and I really liked that we had a good chunk of Christmas Day to spend as our own little family unit. With the trials of December behind us, we were content to just "be." Boxes of packages spotted our floor and giggles of glee filled our living room. Jeromy and I know that we wouldn't be able to have even a fraction of joy without Christ and His sacrifice. One of my favorite Christmas songs is "I Celebrate the Day" from Reliant K and moves me every time I hear the words.

"And the first time that You opened your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior and at the first breath that left Your lips did you know that you would change this world forever?"
and continues later on...
"And I, I celebrate the day that You were born to die so I could one day pray for You to save my life."

Black letters on a screen can't capture the message as it is sung, so if you get a sec, it's worth a listen online (easy to find on YouTube).

The words of this song echoed in my head for days this Christmas season and were a fitting anthem as I looked around and saw nothing but glorious blessings on Christmas Day. A knowledge of Christ with a church family that encourages me to do better. A beautiful network of family and friends who are with us through thick and thin. A husband with an eternal love and commitment to me as he impresses me daily with his character and parenting skills. A daughter. It makes me tear up to even type that... a daughter. Words cannot describe what she has done to me. I love her so much and she is Jeromy's and my happiness.

We wrapped up our Christmas with a dinner at Mom's, where Paisley showed off some of her fabulous toys. I may or may not have forgotten about one of Paisley's gifts in the garage since it was purchased months ago.... mother of the year. The mistake was corrected that night, though. Heh.

It was a perfect Christmas in every way. As mentioned before, it was simple and stripped down, but so so awesome and filled with tidings of comfort and joy.

Five Day Weekend Primer

2011-12-28T15:57:00.003-06:00

Hear that?

Off in the distance?

It’s the sound of a five-day weekend and it’s getting closer! Eeee!

Today is pseudo-Friday for both Jeromy and me – looking forward to the shenanigans that are about to ensue.

I’ve kinda instigated a new project – we are going to convert the guest room into a playroom for Paisley.

Yes – a room for her toys (ack).

I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but it’s needed so very badly if we are going to relist the house next month.

We have been totally blessed with about every type of toy you could imagine for a tyke Paisley's age. But all those blessings don’t fit in her room nicely (I know, I know... first world "problem"...but we are genuinely so happy that Paisley enjoys so much fun daily).

Even if we cull through her older things, it would look like a cluttered mess and we need her room to look super orderly for future showings. A playroom will also allow us to remove some storage from the nursery and rearrange her bedroom furniture to open up the space. Most of the negative feedback we received about the house was the size of the bedrooms. Removing the full size bed in the guest room and emptying out some of Paisley’s room will hopefully alleviate that by showing more floor space. We’re going to paint the playroom a neutral color, which should also go a long way (the guest room is currently blue). Hard to believe, but when we first listed the house last June, Paisley was still learning to pull up, walk, etc. and could get by with less entertainment and we had boxed up many of her toys (thinking that we’d be moving in a couple of months and wouldn’t need them for a while… silly, silly us). Now that she’s walking, interacting, etc., toys are a huge deal for her. I can’t bring myself to pack everything down again for another round of showings that could last for months. So this is happening. Jeromy will be painting on Saturday while I hang out with Mom, who is going to be my Sewing Angel and help me with a couple of sewing projects. Since we’re decorating this new space, I’m perusing the internets for super-duper cheap ideas on how to add color, especially to large walls - we don’t have funds for large artwork at the moment. The projects I’m planning include a hanging fabric bookshelf, some bunting to go around the window, large decoupage-covered letters, and fabric wall hangings. I’m hoping to do things that can be used for Paisley’s actual room if we end up moving.

In addition to playroom shenanigans, the other things we need to get knocked out either this weekend or the next include:

replanting our flower bed (our summer/fall flowers have died and it looks like dead plants were frozen in time out there),

painting the exterior of the house (this summer took its toll - talking to a contractor this week),

going through closets and get rid of unused items - especially Paisley’s,

reorganizing the garage,

rearranging our office to just have one desk and tuck the treadmill behind it (yep – we have a treadmill thanks to Craigslist… more on that later as I try again to complete the C25K program - third time's a charm, right?), and

doing another good deep clean on the house (because between laziness and Plague 2011, I’ve done the bare minimum).

I must admit that I have anxiety about going back onto the market and the constant cleaning that will dominate our lives again, but I’m happy that there are many reasons to be more optimistic this time around. Plus - I'm working harder to have active faith that God has a plan for us and that things will shake out how they need to. We just need to do our part and the way will unfold before our feet. Fortunately, even if we can’t move our property and end up staying in the house, all of these projects are things that need to be done and will be beneficial to us either way.

Jeromy and I are sneaking in a baby-free outing this weekend, so that’s pretty exciting. I get giddy about dates with my sweet man. We have a Groupon to Studio Movie Grill that has been laying on Jeromy's desk and hollering our names for a while now. "Jerommmy! Maaandy!... Jerommmy! Maaaandy!..." We have decided to heed the call. Booyah.

Oh my word... move over, Dragon - 2012 is the year of the baby. I have a bazillion close friends who are preggers and I'm loving it! I see new announcements regularly and am looking forward to all the snuggles and celebrations that will take place. Good times, people. Etsy might as well start taking money straight from my paycheck.

Mom, Dad, and I went in together for Jeromy's Christmas gift and he received a Kindle Fire last weekend. And he totally loves it. I installed the Kindle app on my iPad and we can share books bought on his account. Score. We both wanted to read the Hunger Games series since we've heard people rave about it (especially Susan, my sister in law) and boom - it was downloaded to my iPad. I finished the sucker in two days and really liked the experience of reading a book on my device. It was the first fiction book I've read in a long time and it was fun to get pulled into a story like that. I'm currently on the second book. Totally looking forward to the movie that will come out in March! I've never read a book first and then watched the movie (I literally have viewed each Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/Twilight installment not knowing what was going to happen). In the past, I liked the suspense of walking in cold and never got how someone could enjoy a film that they already knew the ending to. But I see how reading the book has fed my anticipation of the movie. Fun stuff... anybody planning on going to the Hunger Games opening weekend?

I'm starting to feel normal again this week. Not just physically, but emotionally. I'm happy. We had the Whites over for dinner last night (one of our sets of friends expecting a bundle of joy next year) and it was nice to just kick back and have fun. We haven't entertained nearly as much as we used to and I'm convinced our walls soaked in the conversation like rain on a desert floor. I love the joy and hope that appears right before the emerging new year. The blank potential of chunk of time stirs something deep in me. I know that many plans/goals will sink fast, but some will bubble up, float, and take me to new places of growth. It's gonna be a good one.

Christmas

2011-12-27T10:58:00.004-06:00

Lots of fun Christmas photos are coming. This Christmas was probably one of my favorites in a long time. I don’t know why – no single thing “made” it special. Our house was certainly not decorated to my liking and my cupcakes were a giant fail. But it was splendid.

Maybe the delight in Paisley’s eyes is contagious. Maybe the idea for all of Jeromy’s family to wear pajamas was genius. Maybe it was because everyone put a lot of thought/effort into things (yours truly received really, really sweet gifts that are treasures). Maybe the fact that our trials this month caused us to strip down Christmas to just the necessities and we were less distracted. Whatever it was… it worked.

We experienced the perfect blend of festivities, laughs, reflection, and peace.

Ironically, my most powerful Christmas moment this year came after everything was over. Wrapping paper was bundled in a trash bag on our hearth. Leftovers squeezed into our fridge. Boxes and packaging dotted our floor and furniture. Our tree bare underneath. Paisley had a rough time staying asleep Christmas night. I tried giving her water, helping her to shift position, changed her, etc. to no avail. When she is fussing just to fuss, we usually let her wrestle with sleep for a few minutes and then she quiets and melts into some angelic position with her eyes closed. We have a “don’t pick up” rule once her needs are met. But this was different – outstretched arms and a whimper that was a plea for comfort. What mommy can deny that?

She and I took to the rocking chair and rocked. And rocked more. We both stared at the nightlight as she moved her head from my right shoulder to my left and then back over to my right. Her fingers traced the curve of the back of the chair and then she popped up and looked right at me. Her round eyes sparkled. Then, my characteristically non-affectionate child (who shakes her head no and runs away at the mention of a hug) gave me a kiss, placed her hand on my face, and let her arm drop back down to be between my chest and her body. I was frozen with joy and surprise. Paisley then nestled into me and the soft part our cheeks met. All I could think of in my head was “This is it. This is it.” Over and over.

It was a peace and calm that has been mirrored in Christmas carols for years. My thoughts wandered to what Mary must have felt that first Christmas night as she was up in the wee hours with her newborn, and the sleepless nights to follow. How it felt to tend to the Savior… comfort Him, rock Him, soothe that sweet baby that would ensure that we could all really live. I wonder if Mary was scared or if the ministering of angels made her hands steady. I’m so grateful for Mary and every worthy woman of God who righteously exercises the quiet power to nurture. What better place for the Savior – or any baby – to immediately be than in a mother’s arms? Right then and there – at 3:00 in the morning – I felt the joy of Christmas as I held my baby who I love more than anything. And as much as I love Paisley, I know that what I experience in this mortal state is a fraction of God’s love for each of us. Christ came to clear the way so that we can experience tranquility for eternity. Because of His great sacrifice, we know that we have an advocate and a way back to our heavenly home. This knowledge and affirmation is what we Christians celebrate. Truly, all is bright.

Christmas Family Photos

2011-12-23T15:02:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas from our family to yours! If you are like us, many family shenanigans will occur tomorrow on Christmas Eve, so today actually feels like the "eve" of festivities. I know I'll be baking up a storm this evening - can't wait!

We were in bad need of some updated family photos and the need for a Christmas card seemed to justify going through the trouble of getting in front of a camera. Our usual family photographer, Ian, was tending to a family emergency out of state around the time we needed photos last month, so we did a mini session with the talented Monica Salazar. It was SO cold and windy during our session - poor Paisley was probably miserable, which is why she is not smiling very much. But Monica was super swift and we ended up with some great results despite the chill! Yay!

We hope that everyone has a fun Christmas!

Christmas Eve Eve

2011-12-23T09:11:00.002-06:00

I love that Christmas is just around the corner. Like... right there. I can wave to it, it's so close.

I got a bee in my bonnet after I successfully made my first cookies from scratch. I forgot how much I enjoy making things (especially since I don't get my creative juju outlet via regular photography anymore) and I wanted another project. We had some buddies that I really wanted to make gifts for and when I saw some cute felt Christmas trees online, I knew I had to recreate them. It was super easy and they didn't turn out horrid. I think they'd look cozy on a mantle with other Christmas items. I added in a box of my chocolate chip cookies and "bam" - present. The fam and I loaded up in the car and we dropped off gifts the other night. It was fun to spread some Christmas cheer (and eat some dough in the process).

Jeromy delivered gifts for Paisley's teachers and directors and I hear it was a hit - chocolate chip cookies, soap, and a card. I wish we could do more for them considering all the love and fun they shower Paisley with daily, but appreciation in the form of sugar and chocolate will have to do for now.

I've been making lots of cookies, which rocks, but I think I'm ready to tackle new treat for Christmas. Stay tuned for that. I hope my little bit of confidence in the kitchen doesn't make for a complete fail. Let's just say that we bought a baking aisle's worth of goods last night in Target. And I was happy to snag the last bag of powdered sugar last night. Popular product this time of year, eh?

Dee-Dee is having a rough time - she came home from the hospital recently but had to visit the doctor again yesterday. Her pneumonia is still hanging around and we're hoping that rest at home and another round of antibiotics will help get her feeling better for Christmas. My congestion is rearing back up and I've been in a medicated stupor for the last couple of days. Luckily, I think it is just an allergy flare, as I don't "feel" sick - just tired. Prayers for good health all around would be appreciated.

Excited for 2012 coming up. Even-numbered years have historically been the most awesome for us. I'm sure that 2012 is going to rock our socks. Lots of friends have babies due next year (snuggles all around!). We're hoping to sell our house. Paisley will be learning a ton and will start nursery in church. And even though we have made some large strides this year with budgeting and family goals, I know that next year provides a perfect canvas to keep improving.

Hi, Santa!

2011-12-20T13:00:00.002-06:00

There was a narrow window a few weeks ago when Paisley seemed to be getting better and Jeromy and I weren't sick yet. It lasted for about two days. And on one of those two days, we decided to go see Santa Claus (otherwise, how was Paisley going to let it be known what she would like for Christmas?). We were happy that we could meet up with Susan and Joshua for the outing.

Bass Pro may seem like a weird place for a Santa, but it has become a staple of Christmas shenanigans, as evidenced by all of my friends' photos on their Facebook wall. I think everyone went there this year! And yes - if you don't get there early, the line is long. But they will give you a card with a time to come back and you can roam the store while you wait. Sweet!

One thing we were able to do while waiting was take Paisley for her first carousel ride. She sat on her animal and intently grabbed the rod in front of her. And her hands didn't budge almost the entire time (until her psycho mommy grabbed her to face Daddy for a picture). She's serious like that. Jeromy went on her first "round" and then I got in there for her second time. So fun!

We spent the rest of our time looking around at all the animals, peering over the edge of the bridge, and scoping out the fish tank. We know that Uncle Vinny doesn't like bison, so Paisley was sure to "pick the bison's nose" in honor of her uncle.

After roaming for a bit, it was time to get in line. I don't know why, but the magic of Santa still thrills me. There's this "awe" that lands on me like a net and pulls me in. I wanted to give him a hug myself... but then I'd be "that" mom. And security would be called.

Joshua went down to see Santa first. He did a perfect job of standing there and politely telling Santa what he wanted for Christmas (a Leap Pad). Santa smiled and gave Joshua a candy cane. He is such an awesome little man!

We then carried Paisley to Santa. We were both wondering what her reaction would be. Santa handed Paisley a candy cane, which she gripped tightly with her fist and then balled up her other hand. She sat very still and did not fuss a bit. In a serious way... of course. What a big girl, eh?

Santa was charming and we so enjoyed getting to visit him. Now - we just wait for his arrival this weekend - yay!

Happy Thanksgiving {a month late}

2011-12-20T12:50:00.002-06:00

Thanksgiving was almost a month ago, but I am super bad about posting in a timely manner.

For Thanksgiving, we went over to my Mom and Dad's. Food was in plentiful supply and it was amazingly delicious (of course). Mom invited a lady from their congregation over, which was nice. Another special guest was present - Grandma Lynda! It was fun to catch up with her and for her to see all the neato things Paisley can do now.

We were all excited that this Thanksgiving was Paisley's first one to eat actual food. I wasn't sure how she would take to everything, but she dove in and didn't disappoint (and yes - she kept her right hand on the chair the whole time)!

There was cake/gifts for my birthday and Paisley was sure to enjoy every ounce of icing we gave her. It was a great day to reflect on meaningful things and to look around and see your most precious blessings (I sometimes have to sweetalk my family to allow their photo to be taken, so pictures of Paisley will have to suffice).

I really needed some new clothes so I woke up crazy early on Black Friday and did some shopping on my own. I had never gone Black Friday-ing before, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be and I walked away with some great deals.

I received a really cool birthday gift from Jeromy. First, I love the earrings and necklace he got me from Funky Vintage Lovely. Then, he gave me a six month subscription to the Pretty Little Lovelies Club from the same store, which means I'll get a gift in the mail every month. How awesome is that?!? I can't wait to see what will be sent! Miss Paisley gave her mommy an iTunes gift card, which will help to update my musics!

Jeromy and I tried to do some Christmas shopping for Paisley later that day, but it proved to be difficult with little one in tow. Paisley has recently VERY aware of toys (whereas before it didn't matter if we were around them in a store) and anytime we were in a toy aisle browsing gifts for her, she went crazy nutso. Even though we didn't accomplish what we had set out to do that day (grr), it was fun to realize just how into Christmas gifts she would be this year (yay). When did this change happen?!? We learn parenting lessons the hard way - obviously.

We concluded the birthday shenanigans with some Mexican food with a couple of friends who were actually still in town for the holiday and an impulsive trip to go get a real Christmas tree. I had never had one before and thought this would be the perfect year to experience it. We went out and picked out a great looking tree and dubbed it "Harold." We joked that we would "hark" him. His bottom got cut off and before we knew it, he was on the truck. We lovingly decorated our real tree and I basked in the heavenly smell of ... Christmas. I never knew what people meant by the smell of a real tree, but I get it now. Amazing. Paisley was a little freaked at first when she woke up and found a decorated tree in the living room. But then she warmed up and would constantly point at it. She really didn't mess with it much, though. She'd delicately tap the lights and look at me and smile. She only knocked one ornament down and after that, it never happened again. Good times. But not all good things can last. Paisley's allergy to Harold ultimately meant that he was un-decorated and moved to the back porch until official "tree pick up day" comes around next year. I told Harold that he would probably be my "one and only" live tree and that it wasn't personal. I hope he understands. We enjoyed it while we had it.

It was nice to have the long weekend together. I really love being with Jeromy and Paisley; they are truly my heaven on earth. Above all the fun things in the world and the treats for the senses, I'm most grateful that the gospel allows us the opportunity to be together for eternity.

The Magic is Back

2011-12-19T11:37:00.002-06:00

This weekend didn't disappoint and was filled with good good things all around.

All of us are getting better. We still have cough flare ups and rough nights, but at least we're functioning much better during the day. I feel like I got some much needed rest over the weekend, even though we were busy. Paisley has been sleeping better, too, even though she likes to get nakkie-nakkie and throw her friends overboard.

We put out the small tree for Christmas. It didn't seem right to not have any tree, so the small one came out, was decorated, and it feels great. Paisley likes flicking the ornaments ever so gently and looking back at me with a smile. Next year, the big one will come out and it will rock her socks (without making her sneeze). But for now, the Christmas magic is seeping its way into our home. Twinkle lights. Envelopes from loved ones with Christmas cards. Curious Paisley pointing at wrapped packages. Love it! I made some gifts for some special friends and we'll be running those around town tonight - so excited!

Oh - I found "the plate." Even before Paisley was a twinkle in our eye, Jeromy and I had talked about how neat it would be to have a special cookie plate just for Santa when we had kids. We've seen some here and there but nothing tripped our trigger. Until now.

Isn't it beautiful? I love the look of it (reminds me of Dee-Dee's holly dishes) and even better - Macy's was having 50% off Lenox products that day. I'm so excited to set it out on Saturday night and on future Christmas Eves! When Paisley is old enough to start helping, I want she and I to make treats together for Santa.

Janie was a complete angel to us this weekend - she correctly assumed that Jeromy and I would have a lot of Christmas errands to run after the last few weeks of being cooped up and kindly offered to come by and get Paisley for a day of adventure and fun so we could finish up our shenanigans. Janie is so thoughtful and we really appreciate her stepping in. Without her help, I would probably still be a little stressed out at this point, but I'm more relaxed than I've been in weeks. Janie and Paisley met up with the Samsons and had a fun day of shopping and playing. Joshua is so cute with Paisley and loves talking to her, sitting next to her, and teaching her things. She always lights up around him and it is so neat to see a special bond between cousins! We received a few photos throughout the day and it was clear that Miss Paisley was having a ball...

Jeromy and I were rock stars with our errands. We mailed out Christmas cards and made ten stops during the day, finishing up our shopping for everyone. We love being with Paisley, but it was nice to efficiently slip in and out of stores without loading/unloading a toddler, dealing with a stroller, stopping for change breaks, and being able to linger in certain areas without Miss P getting fussy. Saturday concluded with a tasty dinner with Jeromy's family.

Neat story - Jeromy and I went to a large store on Saturday that had a ton of people in it (weekend before Christmas, mind you). The parking lot was stuffed full, so we had to park on the edge of the perimeter, basically facing down at bushes/sidewalk. There were vehicles on either side of us. When we tried to leave, the car wouldn't start. We were essentially wedged in by the two vehicles, making it useless for us to call on someone (they wouldn't have been able to reach us). Our only hope was to ask someone parked next to us to give us a jump... but who knew how long it would be until one of them came out? Not 30 seconds later, people walked up to the SUV to the right of us. They kindly agreed to give us a jump but didn't have cables. Jeromy had just put jumper cables back in our car that morning. Kid you not. Two minutes later, we were on our way (and off to AutoZone to buy a new battery - we confirmed that ours had a dead cell). It was such a blessing that this hiccup didn't delay our progress and that I have a husband that obeys promptings. God has really been looking out for us.

I enjoyed reconnecting with my sweetheart of a spouse this weekend. In between the "what do you think about this?" *hold up item* exchanges while out and about, we had some really awesome conversations. Mostly circling topics of faith, desires for the upcoming year, and what we want to be for Paisley. It's times like those where I re-fall in love with my dear Jeromy. I'm so happy that we're both on the same page about so much and that he has insight and wisdom about issues I struggle with. Jeromy always encourages me and never belittles. We both agree that we want to focus a little harder on our marriage next year so that we don't just become partners who take care of Paisley.

Sunday was relaxing. Jeromy got a call for work in the morning, so he was engaged in that for a bit at the house (we didn't make it to church - between that and being sick, it's been way too long - blarg). The rest of the day was spent making/wrapping gifts, baking cookies, cooking dinner, and playing with Paisley. Oh, and a bath of course...

Less than a week until Christmas! Even though my "stay-cation" time was reduced due to Plague 2011, I still have a three day weekend and a five day weekend to look forward to with a very short workweek in between - huzzah! I'm excited to see family, take it easy, and bask in the joy of Christ. Bring it. :)

Root Growing Time

2011-12-15T16:45:00.003-06:00

Remember my awesome little nephew, Joshua? He experienced multiple febrile seizures this morning due to a high fever (brought on by an evil stomach bug). My heart fell to my chest when I heard the news. Joshua was released from the hospital and is at home resting, but please pray for quick, complete healing for him and for peace in his parents' hearts. I know that they are understandably upset. I can't even imagine the panic that would tear through me to experience that with Paisley. Susan and Jeff are tough cookies indeed. I love Joshua and hope these petitions are lifted up to God today. Thank you in advance.

Confession (lots of those lately, huh?): I've really let myself down this week. As previously posted, lots of little/temporary trials stacked up and it was all I could do to function for some reason. I've been through way bigger and tougher things in the past, but the persistence of issue after issue quickly made anthills into mountains (illness, car issues, etc.). I'd be lying if I said I was out of my funk, too. But I'm trying. I'm convinced that I suck at everything when I'm sick. Let's just use that as an excuse, mmmk? I had a battle in opening a package the other night - plastic can be so amazingly strong sometimes.

Yesterday was a crummy day, but God made things work out in the end and I totally know it to my core (even though my attitude didn't warrant such a blessing at the time at all). Jeromy's truck wouldn't start at his office and I was home sick so I ventured out in my un-showered, bare-faced, troll-haired glory to get him and Paisley before the day care closed and we would be charged some crazy fee per minute [did I mention it was totally storming? Yep, it was.]. I was in a lovely mood as one can imagine. While waiting for a tow truck, I saw a baby (or maybe just small?) owl on the ground and right after it flew off, Jeromy's truck miraculously started - no lie. I felt totally thankful and horrible all at the same time. Elated that we could drive White Stallion home. Ashamed that I didn't have faith that things would work out and was muttering "why nows?" under my breath. Why, why, why do I always assume the worst? To avoid disappointment? A lack of faith? Good 'ol pessimism? Blarg. If one is to use the gift of life to be molded and shaped into a more Christ-like person, I hope that God gives me many more years to get this right.

The rest of the evening before bedtime was blissfully uneventful. Sandwiches. Play time. Paisley giggles. A win in my book.

It totally helped to stay up later than I should have and wedge out some time to create some gifts for others (yay Pinterest!). "Doing" is healing. Activity soothes. And even though we have had to miss multiple Christmas events, our Christmas tree is dying on our back porch, and my much-anticipated 10-day "stay-cation"/time with Jeromy has been obliterated with all our sick days this month, I am convinced there is ample opportunity to make the most of the rest of this fun time of year. To serve others and bring happiness. To remember and celebrate the gift of Christ and His constant, pure love that amazes me most at times like this. I'm undeserving but am so blessed. I'm totally looking forward to wrapping gifts, finishing up my shopping for some special people, addressing our Christmas cards, and sucking down some peppermint hot chocolate (watch out, Starbucks baristas!). More than anything, I cannot wait until Paisley sees all the awesome things ~~under the tree~~ in the corner for her this year. It'll be the first Christmas she kinda "gets" the excitement as opposed to just lying in her bouncy seat wondering what all the commotion is about. So. Stoked.

I'm thankful for those who have kept us in their prayers and thoughts over the last couple of weeks. I'm thankful for a Relief Society colleague who knew what was going on and found someone to cover for me for the activity tonight. I'm grateful for friends who are good listeners and know what to say at the right time. I'm so happy to have a spouse who fixed his truck while in pain so that we could function better and who has been a trooper in helping out around the house. And even these trials, which have been not fun, have highlighted a huge issue that I need to work on. Without obstacles, I cannot develop awareness. There was a recent news story about some winds in California that knocked down a bunch of trees. Some factors contributed to this... the winds were choppy and shifted speed quickly, the trees were watered mainly by sprinklers, and the large-canopied trees didn't have deep roots. Because the trees didn't have stress with their regular watering, they were weak. Sure - they looked fine and pretty, but when the winds came suddenly - as most trials often do - they fell. Even though I'm a servant that is "prone to wander," God still gives me opportunities to grow some roots.

I'm thankful and am excited to celebrate my Savior.

Upside Down

2011-12-13T21:28:00.003-06:00

Things are a little upside down lately.

Which does not lend itself to rational/healthy perspective (and thus triggers a teary panic attack in the middle of the kitchen around 8:00 about how I have let myself go and how we'll never sell the house [never mind it's not on the market at the moment] and how I feel I have no control over anything and that I want to bleach everything but don't have the energy).

I'm trying to remember the big picture. I'm trying to rely on my Heavenly Father to sustain us through this. I'm doing better about asking for help in my prayers. I know that His hand has gotten us this far. That the last two nights of Paisley sleeping without waking was a way for Jeromy and I to recharge. My work day today hasn't been nearly as busy as recent weeks and I know that the mental break was a blessing. I'm grateful for this exercise in patience and endurance. I just need to do a better job about keeping perspective.

Jeromy blew out an ear drum and is in severe pain. I'm still recovering from whatever plague this is. And poor Paisley is just in the middle - doing her thing. But we are chugging along. I expect to feel better soon. This can't last forever.

I've said it before, but I'm so happy to have a child who doesn't know any better. Who is too young to know that our dinners have been lackluster. Who doesn't care that I skipped our second/third bedtime book the last few nights (as well as a verse in our goodnight song). That she doesn't realize I'm running on fumes. I'm thankful that despite all my shortcomings, she is still so happy and vibrant. And that she'll clap for me every time I sing "Itsy Bitsy" and do the hand movements. Even at my worst, she thinks I'm pretty awesome.

I'm so happy to have a child who doesn't know any better.

(PS - we actually had dinner that didn't come from a drive thru tonight. Pretty awesome, eh?)

Brianna Photos

2011-12-13T12:33:00.004-06:00

(Update: I'm doing a bit better than yesterday. Fever is gone - booyah! Jeromy has developed some sort of horrible ear pain that he is getting checked out this afternoon (pray for quick healing). Paisley slept through the night for a second time in a row but woke up this morning needing a breathing treatment. Still - that is huge for us. I'm hoping that we can start to heal fully soon! Bonus: chances are lookin' good that we may be able to eat something besides Chick Fil A tonight - yay!)

I had the extreme honor of doing some newborn photos for sweet little Brianna a couple of weeks ago. Newborn photography is not my specialty by any means, but it was fun to interact with Brianna and get to her sleep in nifty poses. Who doesn't love cute babies?!? She is such a sweet little thing and brings so much joy to her family. Kim and Ben already look like parenting pros, too! They are doing a fantastic job and are amazing. I'm grateful that they let me do photos of Brianna - it was a blast! More than anything, I'm so delighted that God gave Kim and Ben a beautiful, healthy daughter. Kim is one of my best buddies and to see her righteous desire for motherhood to come to pass has elated me in every way. I'm happy that Kim and I can sustain and edify one another as new mothers (and I secretly hope that Paisley and Brianna can share a special friendship, too).

Below are some of my favs...

Business Idea

2011-12-12T20:20:00.004-06:00

This is our life right now. A series of dosage increments and survival hours until we get to our next "relief point."

I realize this is just how it is and so many people do this regularly, but man oh man... having a kiddo recovering from back to back illnesses and a really sick mommy/daddy team is the pits. Somehow, Jeromy and I are worse tonight. He is having extreme pain in his ear and my discomfort has progressed. This virus can kiss my big toe knuckle for all I'm concerned.

Which leads me to my main point...

I would pay good money for someone to go grocery shopping and make me a meal that didn't come from a drive thru. Really good money. There is only so long we can keep feeding crap to Paisley but neither of us feel like slogging through a store (and infecting others along the way). I know I sound like a total wimp, which I probably am, but this seems so much worse this time around. We've winged it before but it's been a real trial this time. Why is there not a service for temporary help like this? I know there used to be grocery delivery services and I think there are even places that will do delivered cooked meals that are actually healthy... the two concepts should be combined.

If I had money for a start up, I think this would be an awesome idea. Sick parents. New parents who can't get out. Single people who get the flu with no family nearby. The scenarios go on. And even for people with a network of people, it's sometimes easier to just ask for third party help. There would be no guilt or casserole dishes to return or thank you cards to write. No strings attached.

Until my fantasy company is open, I'm just going to pop some more drugs and pray that Paisley can make it another night without partying like a rock star. She seems to be doing better and I'm hoping that the elimination of the tree was the solution for her.

Side note: White Glove Health Services came out last night and I have nothing but great things to say about them. We requested an appointment online, they called to schedule, and boom - an angel of a lady in scrubs shows up on my doorstep (remember that whole don't-wanna-leave-the-house thing?). They did a strep test right there in the living room (no strep - just a virus that mimics it), took our stats, and walked us through everything. They leave you with awesome get well boxes that are equipped with basic items. The lady was super sweet and professional. I'm so grateful that Jeromy's work/insurance makes this option available to us. It was only the cost of our normal copay. Totally an example of awesome service.

Update: My Dee-Dee is out of the hospital and staying with my aunt in Round Rock. Mom has a respiratory infection and may be slightly contagious, so Dee-Dee is staying put until Wednesday. I'm happy she responded to treatment and is doing better.

Thanks for all the prayers!

Managing

2011-12-11T11:42:00.005-06:00

Went out yesterday since Paisley seemed to feel better.

Saw the big man in red.

But things turned... Last night brought on Paisley's worst cough/hacking/allergy/vomit fest ever.

There used to be a phase of life where staying up until 5 a.m. and being vomited on meant that some pretty exciting stuff happened.

But this is different.

Despite partying like a rock star, Paisley still found a way to wake at her normal time. She's talented for sure. Jeromy and I are now battling some sort of plague ourselves and we're just trying to stay afloat over here while running on fumes. A doc is coming to the house tonight to check us out (our throats are on fire). We have just taken down our (real/live) Christmas tree since Paisley seems to have been sick since its arrival. Between missing out on Christmas fun last weekend and a tree-less living room, this holiday season is starting to feel like a bit of a bummer.

Until later, here is a pic of Paisley and Santa...

(I'm hoping to combat my blues this week by making some gifts for friends, wrapping family gifts, and increasing my consumption of peppermint hot chocolate.)

Mind Soup

2011-12-08T22:07:00.004-06:00

I’ve been in relatively good spirits lately. After taking the house off the market and getting through a string of commitments, things have really slowed down. A lot. We have had to decline invitations for things we want to do and harness our desire to throw an ornament party for our friends, but this buffer from over-scheduling has been necessary for all of us. As crazy as it makes me to have a messy house, it has been kind of freeing to drive away without having to scan in my mind whether or not I closed the toilet lids, blocked off the doggie door, swept the floors, hid all our laundry, deodorized the dog bedding or got that last cup into the dishwasher. My “to dos” are much more fun now… finish up Christmas shopping, wrap gifts, take Paiser to see Santa, decide on Christmas cards, etc. B-l-i-s-s. I know that the craziness is going to start in January again, but the temporary pause is rejuvenation.

The only gum sticking to my emotional shoe is the fact that my sweet Dee-Dee is really sick and in the hospital. She went in for some routine pre-op stuff today (for her upcoming surgery next week) and wound up being told that she has pneumonia with a crazy high white blood cell count. She's really sick and I'm hecka worried about her. The doctor said that there is concern that the infection is trying to spread into her blood stream. Not good. Prayers are welcome and appreciated for this special lady. I don't know many details, but I imagine we'll find out more tomorrow.

To add to physical ailments, Paisley has developed some sort of stomach thing today. She's "gotten sick" three times so far this evening and can't seem to keep anything down. Her fever keeps bouncing around the 100-102 range. And then there is a nasty cough/asthma thing Paisley has developed. It really attacks with a vengeance at night and keeps all of us up until the wee hours (we've seen the doc twice in the last few weeks about it). Jeromy and I got about 2.5 hours last night – which is appended on to a week’s worth of similar evenings. I now know my way around a nebulizer. “Nebby” for short. It is difficult to keep Paisley entertained enough to sit in one spot for her entire treatment, but we manage. I’m hoping our little girl gets better soon.

Sadly, the respiratory illness prevented Paisley and I from attending the Lackey Ornament Exchange last week (and missed Santa visiting) and also meant I couldn’t be Jeromy’s date to his company Christmas party (which was at the Cowboys Stadium… I’ve still yet to go and had literally had his party on my calendar since May). I totally had a bit of a pity party for myself last Saturday after missing out on so much fun, but I’m happy that I could comfort Paisley when she wasn’t feeling well. Her method of play becomes chaotic when she is under the weather. She wants to dump, knock over, and disassemble anything she can. When feeling bad, if she doesn’t get a shape in her sorter box on the first try, Paisley will become frustrated and quit. Her patience deteriorates as she feels worse. I can totally relate and wish I could help her. Even though she is little Miss Independent and wouldn’t let me snuggle her all that much, she wanted to sit rightupnexttome and scatter everything she could. This is what the last week has been for us (and I expect tomorrow will be the same)…

I had an awesome girl who did my hair and I LOVED her. And then her salon closed and she moved to north Dallas. My cuts over the last year have not been stellar and I had just resigned myself to the fact that it’d be a while before I found another “Jennifer” to bring my hair woes to. Thankfully, Jennifer’s mom lives right down the road from us and when she visits a few times a month, Jennifer will still do cuts for people around here. I was stoked to get on board and am back to this (yay!)…

I’m delighted to announce that Mr. Turco is doing waaaay better and seems to have made a recovery from his issues. I know that there is a good chance that his spine problems will resurface, but for now, he has regained use of his back legs and seems to be a happy dog. :)

I got to do something really fun today. My daddy was awarded “Member of the Year” by the North Central Branch of the Texas Public Works Association. Dad initiated round table discussions for city inspectors; it was so successful that the organization is using it as a template for other programs. I’m so proud of him and decided to show up and surprise him at the luncheon/award ceremony. It was fun to find him and see the look on his face. He even got a standing ovation by many members when he accepted his award! The presenter had so many kind and wonderful things to say about Dad and it’s nice to see such a hardworking man receive that type of recognition. I was also pleased to meet Dad’s supervisor, who is completely sweet and kind. As a bonus, Dad won one of the raffle prizes – a portable air compressor thing, which is totally up his alley. Such a special day for a special guy!

Scratch

2011-12-07T17:31:00.004-06:00

(is it weird that I find ingredients pretty?)

Embarrassing confession: Until last month, I had never made a dessert from scratch. Like, ever.

I realize that this might cause a large gasp from anyone remotely domestically-inclined. But it’s never been a priority. If I wanted something sweet, I could usually find a source somewhere (Look at me *points to self* – sista isn’t lacking access to goodies). And for functions where I am asked to bring food, it was easy and time effective to either a.) buy something or b.) make brownies from a box or c.) make cookies from a package.

I was recently called to be the “Extra Meeting Coordinator” for our Relief Society (women’s group) at church. I help to plan/execute monthly meetings to encourage fellowship and skills among the sisters. Last month, we did Christmas crafts and did a cookie exchange. Each lady could bring cookies with recipe cards and then we would each take an assortment of each other’s cookies and recipes home. Super fun, right? Yep.

And then I realized that my recipe card would read: “1. Go to store 2. Follow directions on bake-and-break cookies.” The end.

I needed to learn how to make cookies. Fast. So I called up my mom and got the best cookie recipe out there - hers. Mom’s chocolate chip cookies are such a treat to me and jokes have been made that I’d take someone’s arm off if it meant getting some of that dough. I was thankful that she was available via phone to answer questions as things came up.

(Side note - did you know that flour expires??? I had flour that expired in 2009 – unopened package mind you – in my cabinet. This little adventure made me to accumulate normal baking stuff… you know, like flour, sugar, vanilla, etc. Fancy. Just call me Miss Crocker!)

I had to dig my hand mixer out of the garage. The thing has been used once. By my sister-in-law. I didn’t even know I had a mixer when she found the boxed item in my kitchen and she used it for a holiday meal. Luckily, finding my mixer was the most stressful part of all of this.

I was skeptical at first. Things weren’t coming together in a recognizable way. But then it happened. While mixing it all together, the tell-tell dough texture surfaced magically. And it tasted like…dough! I did a dance in my kitchen (which Jeromy witnessed) and licked my beater clean. Good dough means good cookies. Even I know that much. And miracle of miracles – they didn’t burn.

They actually turned out decent for my first batch. I took some to work and the plate was emptied quick. Positive feedback followed. Yay! When I took them to church, I even overheard one of the ladies bite into one and say, “Mmm. This cookie is really good!” I almost squealed out loud because she didn’t know it was mine and thus, she wasn’t just being polite. Ooo rah!

I had a blast baking cookies and want to do it again (super soon). And maybe even attempt some other things (dying to recreate my friend, Amy’s, award-winning dessert –incredible). Ooo – and cupcakes. If I could make/decorate a rockin’ cupcake, I would be tickled.

More than anything, I want to get good at this so that I’m not a complete kitchen flunky by the time Paisley is old enough to help. I can’t wait to explore baking with her and spending time together. I want her to have confidence in trying new things and give her the ability to explore skills in the kitchen. I’m already having visions of aprons and flour on the countertops and a little step stool for her. This will happen. Memories will be made. Fun will be had.

Now I only need to figure out how to not gain 40 pounds as a result of this new found power…

Two Friends. Two Weddings. Double the Joy.

2011-12-07T12:35:00.001-06:00

(Chris, David, and Jeromy)
We are totally blessed with some of the most amazing friends ever. Some are even family to us… and David and Chris both fit into that category. These boys came along with the “Jeromy package” and I have always enjoyed our time together. David and Chris started out as just “Jeromy’s friends,” but it wasn’t long before they were my actual friends, too. They have both supported us in many ways. Moves. Projects. Late night hang outs. Happy hugs with good news. Quiet support during hard stuff. I love Chris and David and would do anything for them.

An awesome thing happened. Both guys started to date amazing women. It wasn’t long before these boys fell in love. And both pairs (Chris/Jenna and David/Lori) were perfect matches (and their girls were fun to hang out with – Bonus!). These fine ladies have brought out the best in their partners. So much so that we began to joke that if they ever broke up, we were keeping Jenna/Lori out of the deal. Heh. I have had the pleasure of developing friendships with Jenna and Lori and can’t picture Chris or David without them.

Around the same time last year, both guys proposed in their own special way to their sweetheart. Oh the joy that we have for them – seeing your friends in bliss is honey for the soul!

David and Lori were married on November 5th and Chris and Jenna tied the knot on November 11th (precisely at 11:11 a.m.). Jeromy was honored to stand by both of his friends as best man and I was delighted to enjoy each wedding as a guest. Both weddings were lovely and fit the respective couple perfectly. It was such a treat to feel joy as I looked at David and Chris see their gorgeous brides for the first time. Both pairs enjoyed fabulous honeymoons and are back easing their way into married life. I’m so happy that our group of friends has grown to include Jenna and Lori and can’t wait for the blessed ahead for all of us!

(Even though I didn’t want to shoot the actual weddings, I was tickled to do some engagements/bridals for David and Lori and a quick “post wedding” shoot for Chris and Jenna…)

Lori and David . . .

Jenna and Chris . . .

Red Ryder Prayers

2011-12-06T16:58:00.005-06:00

I love this time of year. As of last weekend, I sipped some peppermint hot chocolate and it was like the ceremonial bottle breaking on the hull of a ship. The Christmas season officially started.

Until very recently in my adulthood, I had never seen the movie, A Christmas Story, in its entirety. When it was on TV, I’d only catch a scene or two (how come it was always the same two scenes I saw over and over and no other ones?). Anyhoo, I sat down and watched it a few years ago and got a kick out of it. As many of you already know, it’s about a boy, Ralphie, who wants a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. It’s his desire and he thinks about it constantly. His passion, if you will. And Ralphie spent much of the time letting those around him know of his desire, too. His mom, his teacher, Santa Claus, etc. He told the whole world that all he wanted was that gun. Except for one person.

His dad.

“The old man” that seemed aloof and appeared to not be paying attention. Not a peep was spoken to him about the gun. But lo and behold, when Christmas Day rolled around, it was Ralphie’s dad – with a twinkle in his eye – that noticed a long package in the corner for his son.

Why do I repeatedly act like Ralphie with my Heavenly Father? Truly, my spirit is the equivalent of a small child.

I have always struggled with praying (among other things). I’m not talking about blessings over food or whatnot. I’m talking the real, meaty stuff. Those heartfelt pleas or deep conversations that tie your being in with something so mighty beyond you. Something holy. I’ve had some amazing experiences, don’t get me wrong. Prayers so sweet, so saturated with acknowledgement from my Heavenly Father… sacred. But I don’t have “enough” of that. And with the spiritual warfare going on daily, my family and I can’t afford to have lethargic communication with God.

What holds me back is not an issue about if God is listening or not. It’s not that I don’t think prayer is fruitful. I know my Father hears me (although His answer is sometimes different than expected). I have seen the power of prayer in action.

The reason I don’t have the type of prayers I want is because I’m a short-sighted island. I have no problems expressing gratitude for my blessings, for praying over the food, or to request help/comfort for a loved one. I have issues talking about my personal sphere while on my knees. I don’t like asking for help. And I’d love to sit here and say that it comes from being so concerned about others and is rooted in selflessness and yadda yadda, but it would be a complete lie. This problem is not one to be proud of.

Call it pride or stubbornness or control issues or having a lack of trust… but there are times where I am Ralphie from A Christmas Story. I go around spinning my wheels, trying to make something I really want happen. I can spend every ounce of effort towards whatever goal I have at the moment and all too often, I haven’t asked my Heavenly Father about it or for assistance. Not even once.

For a long time, I felt comfortable in this pattern by justifying it as being independent and in some ways, self-reliant. A problem-solver, if you will. It is easy for me to extend earthly relationships to spiritual ones and I know that I would not ask a loved one for something that I felt I could feasibly do for myself. I used to think that I didn’t have a right to lay something at Heavenly Father’s feet until I had “gone at it alone” for a while and did all I could first. I was raised by parents who made things work on their own and rarely called for help from others. I’ve always admired their work ethic and would like to think that I’ve cultured my own blend of it. I’ve learned to make things happen and get tasks done. I see leeching adult children as disrespectful to those who have labored so long on their behalf (seriously – there are mid 20-somethings that still have their parents paying their basic bills… blows my mind). I don’t want to be that to my mom and dad. And I don’t want to be an endless series of requests to God. I want to handle what I can. I felt that I needed to make my pleas to Him “count,” so I’d only go to him with deep desires and would let the little stuff slide. I know in many workplaces, you’re encouraged to “bring solutions, not problems.” Employers don’t want to hear about issues that arise in a project; they want to hear what you are going to do about it. But our sacred ties are not the same as the ones we have here. God is not a boss. He is not an earthly parent. Our commitment and connection to Him is so so so much more than that. While serious thought and genuine effort needs to be invested by us when wading through trials, one must not omit God from the process. Doing so implies that we know better than Him.

I used to think that there was nothing wrong with me being a lone ranger with what I offered (or didn't offer up) in prayer. After pondering this issue for a while and doing some research on a topic that on the surface seems so basic, the following points have been reiterated in my heart recently…

When I don’t include Heavenly Father in even the basic aspects of my going ons, I’m missing out on opportunities to feel the Spirit on my own personal behalf. I’m also missing out on the best part of that conversation – what He wants from me (which is really the best question to go to Him with).

My current pattern of prayer will be detrimental to my daughter. Even though she may not hear most of my personal prayers, she will see the resulting attitudes and/or actions that result from my lifestyle of petitioning God – good or bad. Kids are smart like that.

My “little stuff” is still important to God. Because He loves me. Including him more in my life through prayer shows that I acknowledge this and am willing to apply this basic truth.

Some blessings are hinged on my asking. Even though I sometimes still find a Red Ryder behind the tree on Christmas Day when I didn’t ask my father for it, how much more am I missing out on by withholding my wishes? While it’s not a guarantee for everything we want, I know that Heavenly Father wants to do everything to succeed. But oftentimes, our own agency gets in the way and our lack of humility barricades us from precious blessings.

If prayer is one of the greatest gifts that God has given to us, it is not honorable to not use it to its fullest. When I keep information back from God and go at it alone, I am essentially just “playing with the box” and not getting the full effect of one of the greatest tools we have.

Large trials that have been beyond my means to “fix” have brought me to some of the most powerful prayers I’ve ever had. My most passionate; for they occurred when I was in total dependence on my Heavenly Father. I need to nurture and grow this same dependence in every aspect of my life daily.

Despite my shortcomings, I’m grateful that Heavenly Father never gives up on me. That even when I fail miserably, I still receive tender promptings to try again and seek. I’m so happy that I belong to a church who teaches the proper use and power of prayer and that resources are so easy to get to when I am hungry for knowledge on a random day. I’ve been diving into conference talks and Ensign articles lately and have been so uplifted with the different perspectives on prayer.

With some time and correction, I’m hoping to not have a spiritual repeat of Ralphie this time next year.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

(And in the same strain, I would like to put out a prayer request for my grandmother, Dee-Dee. We are waiting for some biopsy results for her, as they have found growths. In addition, she will be undergoing a surgery for a hernia on her kidney next week. Please pray for her to have peace about the upcoming procedure and that her body will recover quickly. Thank you.)

Brianna

2011-12-01T21:35:00.008-06:00

Lots has happened recently, but I keep finding that I lack the energy to properly document all of the amazingness. Bad excuse, I know. But I’m ready to get caught up bit by bit.

Earlier in November, I had the extreme pleasure of helping to throw a baby shower for my friend, Kim. I love Kim so much and have been continually blessed by her. She is patient, sweet, brilliant, faithful, calm, and beautiful inside and out. She has been by my side for some pretty heavy stuff and has always been a source of wisdom and strength. She knows what to say and when to say it. What a wonderful example she is!

(So grateful that Makenzie, Kim, and Nina were by my side on our wedding day)

I was thrilled that I could help Kim's talented sisters, mom, and family friend with all the shower shenanigans. The theme was hot air balloons and everything turned out amazing. The décor and brunch food were perfect and everyone had a good time. You know I had to snap a few photos of cute Kim opening up all of her fabulous gifts!

(to see more shower photos, click HERE)

Shortly after the shower, Kim started to go into labor and by the next morning (November 6), tiny little Brianna was born. An early surprise for sure (Kim was due on Christmas). A sweet, amazing little 3 lb 9 oz, 18.5-long surprise. She had to stay in NICU for a few weeks but recently came home. She is a rock star little girl already and excelled at meeting her milestones. I’m so happy for Kim, Ben, and their wonderful families and know that Brianna will always be a source of joy for them. Later this weekend, I’ll have the extreme honor of doing family photos for them – so be on the lookout for more baby cuteness!

Bam!

2011-11-23T07:25:00.003-06:00

Ever read something and it hits you... just like "read read read read read read read read read BAM!"

Happened to me last night. I'm considering hanging this somewhere and making it my personal motto for a while...

"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us" ~Hebrews 12:1

"Run with patience" - I was like "what that what?"

What a great reminder to be engaged. That patience isn't simply waiting. It's doing all we can - heck, running for that matter. Not "strolling with patience" or "walking with patience" - running. While I'm not a runner by any means, I know that when you run, ALL of you is involved in that activity. It's hard to do anything else - you're focused. But we still need to have patience - faith, peace, knowing - that even when things seem not to be working out, they will. And that God always has our best interest as His priority. Run with patience.

And I love "the race that is set before us" - we're not just aimlessly running. There is a path. There is a plan. And it's to somewhere awesome.

I'm going to be broke...

2011-11-20T22:35:00.002-06:00

I've always had a chick crush on Gwen Stefani. No lie.

I remember the first time I saw her in a music video. We were living in Stephenville in the mid 90's and there she was... in all her girl-power, push-upping awesomeness.

I listened to my Tragic Kingdom cd a million times. Srsly.

I now have a new reason to love this woman. Awesome kid clothes that fit kids that have a unique flair (maybe crazy haired kids with a cool name???).

Behold - the Harajuku Mini Collection for girls (the boy one is adorable too) at Target (my other great love).

Paisley simply must have this. And this. She'd totally rock it.

Thank you, Gwen. You are going to make me poor. The end.

The Bush

2011-11-19T12:33:00.002-06:00

In between all of our fun events over the last few weeks, we took a much needed family outing to a nature preserve/park. Paisley is walking so so much better and it’s awesome to watch her explore outside. Jeromy drove us to a trail that he had been to before and we set out on our adventure. He was telling me about some of the fun things along the way – a mini theater, a bridge, etc. We were enthused to show Paisley everything.

We set out. Paisley tromped and was tickled that she could just trot along on her own. It wasn’t long before Paisley got really really interested in a bush. Nothing unusual about this bush – just your basic, green, bush. We lingered for a while and looked at leaves and then it felt right to move along… mind you, we had bigger fish to fry. There were things ahead that we knew she would love. Things that would delight her. And while I can appreciate girlfriend’s ability to savor a basic bush and bask in the simplicities of nature, it was time to move ahead.

I tried to gently coax Paisley to start walking ahead again. She resisted. Then, I tried to take her hand and walk along and she quickly figured out I was trying to take her away from the bush. Oh. My. Word. Cue freakout. She yanked her hand free, shrieked and ran back to the bush. I added in some vocal excitement of “Come on – let’s go this way!” as I attempted to get her going in the right direction. She wouldn’t have it. She was so fixated on that bush and did not want to leave it.

I looked at Jeromy and asked “Is this how God feels?”

It’s so funny how big gospel principles can be boiled down and packed into a small incident with a toddler.

As predicted – Paisley complied shortly thereafter and had a blast with all the things to see and do. (PS - She loves swings and looks like she can take on the world when you pull her back and she grips the seat. Melt me.)

While watching the playground fade into a dot in the rearview mirror, I couldn’t help but to reflect on the “green bushes” that have or still hold me back from moving on to better things. There are many times where I fixate on something to the point that I become immobilized. I can’t progress. I can’t be blessed. I can’t grow or learn.

Because I’ve stopped.

And it may be something that what I’m focused on isn’t necessarily bad… but it is not what my Father wants for me. How many times have I fought or flat-out ignored a prompting? How many times have I run backwards? Oh, I must often seem as a temperamental child to my Heavenly Father. So much to learn.

It’s hard to let go of something you want and start off on an unknown path. Jeromy had already been down the sidewalk and knew what was ahead, much in the same manner that God knows what is in store for us. I must do a better job in being faithful and trusting in His will and guidance for me.

I’m thankful for the experience and gentle whispering of the Spirit at the park and to realize that my constant control issues make me nothing more than a fussy toddler and not the woman of God I want to be. I’m thankful that despite it all, I know God loves me. ME. Otherwise, the collective movement of Saints would be His focus, and my specific path would have no bearing. Most of all, I'm thankful for the power of change. The ability to continually get better, even when I run back to what is familiar.

My heart is full.

Reasons to Not Date a Photgrapher

2011-11-17T13:12:00.001-06:00

THIS is hilarious.

And sadly true.

Poor Jeromy.

Coming Soon

2011-11-17T12:17:00.006-06:00

Phew.

The last two weeks have been action packed! Looking forward to posting all the details and photos about…

Kim's baby shower and a blessed early arrival

David and Lori's wedding

Chris and Jenna's wedding

Dee-Dee needs surgery

My first true baking experience

Much needed haircut

A cool trip to the park

Turco is improving

We are officially off the market and saying "no" to everything

Yep.

Can't... believe... that Thanksgiving is one week away. Eee!

I leave you with a bundled up Paisley to celebrate the cold air that moved through last night:

Our Plate

2011-11-03T13:46:00.003-05:00

You ever go to a buffet dinner and grab your plate and start piling on your salad and main dish and roll and sides and you get to the end with something tasty and there just isn’t any room left? Our lives have become that plate. Filled with all good things (which is a blessing).

But filled, nonetheless.

And something has to go.

We’re on the edge of taking the house off the market. The last few weeks have brought tons of showings, an offer (too low, though - boo!), and the hint of two other serious offers that never came to pass for one reason or another. Encouraging after a drought of activity this summer, but we just can’t hack it for the rest of the year. Which is only like eight weeks - weird.

In the next 14 days, we Lackeys have:

Two rehearsal dinners

Two weddings (Jeromy is best man in both – cute man in tux alert!)

A post wedding brunch

Two baby showers (one I’m helping to co-host, but thankfully all the time consuming stuff is mostly done and there are many talented ladies involved)

A doctor’s appointment for Paisley

A church ladies’ group craft night that I need to be doing a better job at planning and getting ready for (yikes!)

A much needed trip to the vet for Turco that I have yet to schedule

Obviously, work and normal stuff is supposed to go on there, too. And – much like a buffet – it’s mostly all really really cool and exciting stuff. Stuff that deserves our attention. Stuff we want and are delighted to be involved in. We are tickled pink that so many friends are being blessed with marriage and babies and I’m so happy to celebrate with them. But my dishes will not stay washed, my laundry will not be neatly put away, and my floors won’t be spotless during the next two weeks. We were planning to take the house off the market before the holidays anyways, so we just moved up the schedule.

It’s disappointing to not accomplish this goal so far, especially when so much work and time has been invested, but there are tons of people singing this song at the moment. At least we’re ending our current run with signs that there is reason to be hopeful for our relisting. In January, it’s on. *fist pump* Back on the MLS it goes and we’ll put more energy in getting our home sold.

Now that it is November, I’m reflecting on the year. Jeromy and I dubbed this the “Year of Better” when we set out in January. We felt so blessed with our lives but we wanted more. We wanted to improve and cultivate what we have been given. In some ways, we succeeded (cutting out my photography commitments, budgeting, paying off lotsa debt, getting the house ready to sell, creating a clear vision of what we are working for, getting Jeromy into a better job) and in some ways we have fallen way short (fitness, eating better, going to the temple regularly, etc.).

We’ll be refining next year. Year of Better Part II? I’m already excited.

Trick Or Treat

2011-11-01T22:36:00.002-05:00

We Tricked.

We Treated.

And someone looked darn cute doing it. :)

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T14:14:00.000-05:00

Another hectic weekend behind us. We had two showings on Saturday, so we needed to be out of the house most of the day. We made an epic trip to Ikea and bought some toys for Paisley – some for now (just for fun) and some for Christmas. She became quite attached to a stuffed rat and ever since he came home with us, they have been best buddies. She already knows it is a “rat” and when you tell her to “go get rat,” she’ll gram him and bring it to you. Hilarious. We also bought her a little chair of her own, which she has a blast with. She climbs in and out of it all by herself and beams with accomplishment.

Paisley has learned how to do some really awesome fist bumps. We used to have to really coax her to eek one out, but now she’s a bumpin’ fool. Try it out next time you see her – she’ll light up. Bonus if you do the explosion thing after the “bump.” I love how fun and downright cool Paisley is… she’s such a joy! Her learning abilities continue to amaze me.

We bought some pumpkins at the Farmer’s Market and we attempted our first family carving event Saturday evening. Paisley was so tickled that she could pick up her little pumpkin and we just knew she would love making her first jack-o-lantern.

Happy Halloween! I can’t believe we are here already but I’m delighted to have a fun holiday to enjoy. We are planning on going trick or treating to loved ones’ homes, so that should be fun.

What was I thinking?!?

Knives and pumpkin guts do not equate to a toddler friendly activity. Paisley hates goop and messes (besides food on her tray), so after her first “quick touch” of the inside of the pumpkin, Paisley was d-o-n-e. Even though she was intrigued, she kept her distance and would quickly evade the area if Jeromy got too close to her with pumpkin guts. The knives/blades, however, got her attention and she was all about trying to swipe one of those when we weren’t looking. Which put her in a lovely mood when we were taking them away from her. We completed one eye on good ‘ol Jack and then decided that the carving would finish up after Paisley went to bed. Reality and the visions in my head always conflict. I was pleased with our end result, though. Cute little guys.

I’m helping with a baby shower for my dear friend, Kim, next Saturday. Yesterday, I gathered with the hostesses for a decoration making event and everything turned out marvelous. It was so fun to create together and get things checked off our to do lists. I can’t wait for the shower this Saturday – it will be beautiful!

I hope that everyone’s day is filled with more treats than tricks!

Winding Down October

2011-10-28T22:41:00.001-05:00

Is it Friday already?!? I feel like I just barely recovered from all the hubbub of last weekend and we’re on the edge of more adventures – bananas! Not complaining, but it feels like time is just rushing by.

Last Friday, we knew we were having a second showing at our house on Saturday, so we cleaned until 2 a.m. in the morning (I also managed to make a wreath for the front door thanks to the inspiration of Pinterest). I woke up at 5:30 a.m. Saturday so that I’d have time to do the final touches and be able to take the doggies over to Susan and Jeff’s in their crates for the duration of the showing. We usually leave the dogs crated for most showings, but have made an effort to relocate them for open houses and serious buyer showings such as this one. We are blessed to have nearby angels who don’t mind two stinky bassets coming over for a few hours. We found out Saturday that the buyers are trying to decide between our house (higher cost, but they like the yard better) and another home (larger and cheaper). They are coming back for a third showing tomorrow, so we’re keeping our fingers crossed and praying that our home will get an offer if it is where the buyers truly need to be. Had an unexpected showing this afternoon and they will be back for a second look tomorrow as well. :) I feel the same nervousness that one could experience before a repeat date, and I find myself watching the phone like a hawk after showings wrap up these days – eep!

On Sunday, we had another showing (different people) and decided to take a leisurely drive to the lake. Paisley enjoyed pointing at the water and hanging out on the dock. Experiencing things with her is like a baptism of life milestones. Everything is new and fresh and perfect. Her wonder brings me joy like nothing else. I hope that we can preserve and grow her interest in all things good.

Guess what came in the mail Monday? My JoTote! I love it! My camera, iPad, and purse stuff all fit neatly. The sturdiness and padding of the bag are impressive and it is cute to boot! I’m so impressed with the fast delivery time and quality of the purse. Whee!

On Saturday morning, we had the extreme pleasure of attending Mr. Owen’s first birthday party. Amy did an AMAZING job on her “little man party” theme. It was so so so cute! Chocolate mustache lollipops, mini food, little bow ties – it was darling. And appropriately so – Owen is just about as darling as you can get. Paisley loved the park, especially the swing. We had to head out early as someone was getting cranky without a nap that day. Amy just posted photos from the party on her blog – check it out! She could totally be an event planner!

Celebrations continued as we attended the wedding for Katie and Chip. I was delighted to be just a guest at a wedding. I confess – I snuck a camera into my purse before heading out the door, but you know what? That’s where it stayed. (I snapped one iPhone photo during toasts, but that was it – I promise.) I just wanted to soak it all in without looking through a viewfinder. The awe and loveliness of “wedding” was renewed to me. For the first time in a long long time… when the bride came through the doors, it was my first breathtaking view (whereas a photographer has already been with the bride for hours before that moment). The emotions were high that evening and the joy was tangible. The food was delicious. The company was a riot. We had had a blast doing the photo booth and we even slow danced a little. Katie and her family have been SUCH a wonderful part of our lives. I love love love them all and am so happy that she and Chip are starting this new chapter.

We received some mega sad news while at the reception for Katie and Chip. Jeromy’s sweet Aunt Sandy passed away after battling a very aggressive and severe lung disease. We all knew she was having issues throughout the year, but nobody had any idea just how fast and severe her condition was. The news wasn’t looking so good over the weekend and Sandy returned to her heavenly home after an amazing service-filled life. One of my favorite things about marrying Jeromy is his loving family – and Sandy was a big part of that dynamic. She was warm and genuine and her family really were her life. Sandy served God nonstop and left a legacy of service and grace evident in everything she touched. She is the epitome of a godly woman and walked the walk. She was loved and she loved in return. Lots. Her funeral was on Wednesday and I was so impressed with the service and stories of Aunt Sandy’s life. Her family’s faith was visible and I literally left inspired to do better. To be better. It always seems like really good people leave this world painfully early. I’m so heartbroken for those left behind, as the approaching holiday season will be hard. I pray that they continue to be lifted up and comforted and that they don’t feel lonely. I’m grateful that Jeromy could be influenced by women like Sandy and that Paisley comes from such a strong line of Lackey ladies.

Turco is doing better. His steroids seem to be helping a lot. Still having some issues with his legs, but he gets around. We will lower his dosage over the next two weeks and we hope that his improved condition will still stick around. It’s been nice to see him act more comfortable and to enjoy life again. Silly dog.

We have two weddings and two baby showers in the next two weekends, which means that I went on a giant Etsy shopping spree – hooray! My heart was dancing as I went from shop to shop in search of perfect gifts for all of our friends – I could spend all day on that crack site. I have been keeping a list of potential goodies all week and then placed order after order last night within 25 minutes. I was sure my bank was going to call me to report potential fraud – ha! I’m so happy that there are talented people out there who can make amazing things that I lack the skill to do!

Goals this weekend include pumpkin carving and Halloween photos on Saturday and a decoration making party for Kim’s shower on Sunday. Aaaand go!

Pumpkin Patch 2011

2011-10-24T13:58:00.005-05:00

I love pumpkin patches and everything about this time of year. It’s safe to say I love it even more this year after our extra toasty summer. The first brisk, cool breeze that makes you stop and just embrace your surroundings. The kickoff of fun holidays. Costumes, candies, and all things warm. Leaves, wreaths, and hay bales decorating homes. Cinnamon and red and orange. Love love love.

We went to Hall’s Pumpkin Patch this weekend. Sadly, we only had about ten minutes of quickly fading light to do photos – I keep forgetting how fast the sun sets now. Paisley wore a sweet little candy corn dress that my mom had someone make after seeing one of my Pinterest pins (bc I was totally oogling this dress). What a thoughtful surprise! And – shock – Paisley looked adorable in it. I don’t have the name of the boutique handy, but maybe mom can comment below or I’ll come back in and update the post once I find out. They deserve credit for their mad skills.

Paisley was way more alert this year for her pumpkin photos. She wanted to climb on them, pat them, (try to) lift them, and eat them. Heh. Just about anything but sit and pose. She is really into inquisitively pointing at things now (we usually say what she is pointing at in response), so that’s why you’ll see her have the expression she does in most of them.

Below are some images of Paisley’s pumpkin patch experience:

Mind Soup

2011-10-21T16:22:00.002-05:00

And here we are again. Many many snippets that have nothing to do with each other per se… but they’re what is going on.

I took too long to get these uploaded, but we enjoyed a gathering of friends for Jeromy’s birthday party a few weeks ago. There was food, laughter, and a robot cake. We left the restaurant feeling so rich – it is such a blessing to have such a great network of people around us. I feel so honored to be alongside such a great man we journey through this life thing. This past year was a full year of fatherhood and he has been incredible. Paisley and I gave him a knife, bag for his small items and a HAM radio accessory thingy. Happy Birthday, babe. I’m so happy that you are here and that you are the wonderful man you are.

Since starting the cash system for Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover, I have definitely developed a “saving style.” I save and hoard and save and then I buy really nice items. My first “blow money” purchase was my iPad2. A luxury item for sure, but I saved for months with funds that were designated for me to spend on … me. I love that the budgeting allowed me to save for – and buy – an iPad without guilt. I made my second “blow money” purchase this week and am eagerly awaiting it in the mail. For well over a year, I have wanted to carry a DSLR with me daily. I’m inspired by bloggers who post awesome pictures of the beauty in day to day life and I would love to move my captures to something a little more high quality than my iPhone. I don’t want to carry an extra camera bag, though. They are bulky and I already carry a purse and sometimes a diaper bag. Too much. I need my camera to fit in my purse to take photos regularly and grow in my capabilities. Last Christmas, I received some really cute large purses from thoughtful loved ones for this purpose and Jeromy found a cover that would protect my camera and allow me to carry everything. Voila! I did this for a while, but without a compartment for just the camera, I felt that I was always fishing for stuff. And then there’s the fact that most purses aren’t made to hold a heavy camera and I could tell that the structural integrity of the bags were being tested. So that didn’t last long. I’ve seen stylish purses made for photographers, but most are around $200-$300, which I couldn’t justify. Of the purses that I have personally bought for myself, I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than $15. I am cheap when it comes to personal stuff like that. Cue the JoTote. It was literally love at first sight. It is just the style I need/want/lust for and even though it is still hecka pricy for a purse, it will serve my needs perfectly. So I pulled the trigger yesterday and the marigold Rose bag will be on my doorstep soon… like a little ray of awesome sunshine. So. Excited.

Speaking of creativity, I think my lack of shooting is making me have a craft itch. I am helping some friends throw a baby shower for a special lady in my life and I made a prototype for the centerpiece (shower theme is hot air balloons). My sample wasn’t perfect by any means and some adjustments in materials will need to happen to make a better one, but it was really fun to actually make something again. This week, I have been working on a yarn and felt flower wreath for the door (thank you, Pinterest). I’m looking for my next task to tackle – any (easy) suggestions?

Paisley’s school recently had a pajama drive for the Ronald McDonald House. And they got to wear pajamas to class one day – fun (thank you, Lolee, for the owl jammies)! I love how her school is always doing little special things. Yesterday was Rangers day and Paisley was able to don a Rangers tshirt (thanks to her Nana). Tonight is a Fall Festival, which I am bummed that we will have to miss. Anyhoo, I’m glad that Paisley could experience giving on a small level – even if it was just putting some pajamas in a box. I want her to love service and know that we’ll be seeking more opportunities for us to serve as a family.

Paisley and I met up with a former Red Brick client and now friend – April – last Saturday. April and Michael were blessed with a son just over a month ago and it was sooo good to catch up with her and love on Mr. Jack. I forgot how tiny they come. He was sweet and handsome and fit perfect into my hands. Jack and I looked at each other and became buddies. April and I took the kiddos on a walk along the canals and had a great time absorbing the soft sun. April is an amazing gal and is a fantastic new mommy. There were ducks along the way and Paisley thought they were hilarious. She kept laughing at them. Paisley loves animals and I can’t wait to take her to the zoo soon. I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m so thankful that the pursuit of a hobby allowed me to meet so many beautiful people and that the interaction produced so many friendships. Blessed indeed.

Despite the fresh souls, cake, sunshine and goodness that the season is bringing in, there has been a cause for weight to be on my heart. About two weeks ago, Turco began to become very lethargic and would not come through the doggie door. He had a hard time getting up and down, so we thought that maybe he was having some foot/leg issues. Turco seemed to be in a great deal of pain and wasn’t eating, so we didn’t know what to do - we took him to the vet. What we thought were leg issues actually turned out to be a spine issue. He has calcification and herniation in his lumbar area. During that visit, the sweet doctor tested his reflexes and response and things were snapping back pretty good, which indicated good neurological function. In order to get the inflammation down and to address his pain, he was put on various prescriptions for two weeks. We have been giving him 11 pills a day. Even with all of that, he has had times where we can tell he is very uncomfortable. Then – very recently – Turco’s back legs started acting weird. Like one leg would almost run into the other at times and then his whole hind area would just topple over. I had thought that maybe his muscle relaxers were causing this, but that is not the case. A trip to the vet this morning confirmed that he is now having “neurological deficits.” In a matter of two weeks, we have gone from a running, energetic (or as energetic as a basset hound can be) dog to a dog who struggles to walk and is showing early signs of paralysis. The upside is that he will eat – if we make it something “special” (like canned food) – and he at least is sleeping mostly through the night (he had gotten where he would just isolate himself in another room and whimper all night). Even so, the vet said that he seems much more sensitive to her touching his back than he did last week and said that she thinks his pain is worse on the whole. He is starting a more powerful prescription and we’ll be going back in a week for a follow up. She is concerned about his pain level and wants to get that under control. I hate that my little guy is having such a hard time. Blerg. I can’t help but to let my mind wander to a worst case scenario at times and I am having a hard time with having an internal conversation about it all with myself. I know it may sound stupid to a non-dog owner, but it has been really hard to see his condition deteriorate. I’m still hoping that things improve, so please keep my four legged friend in your prayers. We love him so. (Sorry for the downer.)

This weekend is going to be a busy and hectic one for us. We have a house showing in the morning for some people that came last week. We are in their “top 3,”which is great. Needless to say, I’ll be up scrubbing the house all night. Susan and Jeff have graciously offered for us to bring the hounds over to their house in the morning for that hour so that the house can be dog free. Turco is not in a condition to go to the groomers, which is where we would normally take them for an interested buyer. After we take the puppies back after the showing, we have a birthday party for a fabulous one-year old (yay!). And then, Jeromy and I are attending a wedding for a beloved girlfriend of mine. Can’t wait to celebrate all of the joy (and to actually eat cake at a wedding)!

Mind Soup

2011-10-12T16:30:00.002-05:00

Me oh my. This month is flying. And so does the awesome Superman balloon Joshua scored on Friday night. We were seriously impressed by the little guy who made it for him. He seems to be frequenting the Bedford On the Border on weekend evenings – entertaining indeed!

Last weekend, there was a lot of Mommy-Paisley time since Jeromy was off doing a bachelor party for David. David and Lori are getting married next month and for the bachelor shenanigans, the boys had a day of fun (breakfast, disc golf, lunch, paintball, and dinner downtown). Pais and I got to sit in on the breakfast; it was nice of the menfolk to tolerate us on their manly day.

Jenny and Emma came over for a morning play date. Even though Paisley goes to school and interacts with children daily, I realized that we have some work to do on sharing “her” toys at home. And she has to learn not to poke people in the eye when she points at them.

Paisley and I mostly chilled the rest of the day and then went to Mom’s for some shopping and dinner. My plans of taking Paisley to the pumpkin patch for fun photos were thwarted by the gross mugginess and threat of rain. Boo! Doesn’t the weather know that I have much cuteness to capture?!? Speaking of cuteness, Mom bought Paisley the most adorable coat and hat for winter. I love it and I love the smug look she gets when I slip that owl hat over her noggin.

On Sunday, we attended a wedding shower for Chris and Jenna, who will also be tying the knot in November. There is much reason to celebrate over around our parts – we love our friends and adore the sweet women that have come into their lives.

The last month with Paisley has been one of my favorite yet. She is walking pretty good on level surfaces and is fascinated by everything. She points at objects and waits for me to say what they are. Every now and then, she’ll mimic a part of the word, which elates me. Paisley’s sense of “play” has also developed – instead of taking things out/apart, she is learning to put rings on a stick, place objects in other objects, and even do the shape sorter. We clap and cheer for all of her accomplishments to the point that when she puts a ring on, she’ll turn and look at me and start clapping. Ha!

Paisley likes shoes. Finally. She used to take them off all the time and it was impossible to keep shoes on the child. But one day, a switch flipped. Paisley became really into her shoes and gets upset when I don’t put them on her. She holds them out and lifts up her foot. Awesome. Now she doesn’t look like a ragamuffin when we go to stores (because she would take them off so I’d let her ride barefoot in strollers/carts so we didn’t lose shoes in the aisles). Paisley also likes purple. She tends to pick out purple toys when given a choice and points at purple clothes when we’re shopping.

Paisley brought home her first artwork last Friday. I just about cried. Her fish is now hanging proudly in my cube and I’m “that mom” who points it out and says that Paisley did that. Booyeah.

The other fun development is that Paisley has suddenly become VERY interested in “real” food now. For a while, we would give her what we were eating and we were lucky if she took multiple bites before throwing it on the ground. Now, though – she gets flat out upset if she can’t try what we have (I lost half of my breakfast to her this morning). We went to Kim and Ben’s house last week and she downed turkey meatball after meatball and I’ve never seen her look so satisfied. She even ended the meal by leaning back and letting out a loud, content sigh. Girlfriend cracks me up. She is getting better about handing me food that she doesn’t want instead of immediately throwing it down (although not all the time). We’re working on manners even though she can’t quite say the words yet. It is fun to give her simple commands and see her carry them out – it is indicative that she understands much much more than we ever imagined. She is still pretty quiet and doesn’t have an extensive vocabulary, but the wheels are turning and she is starting to make a wider range of sounds. I expect her to just bust out full sentences randomly one day. I enjoy her and the light she brings into our lives. Absolutely lovely in every way.

My girlfriend at work and I went to a cute bakery in a cottage and had cupcakes for lunch today. Genius and decadent. I felt as though I needed tea gloves or something. More “out of the box” activities are needed to spice up the everyday.

Crazy sad stuff… Paisley had a classmate from the infant room that passed away over the weekend. SIDS. It is so heartbreaking to think of it. The baby was seven months old… which is hecka scary to be honest. Normally, when I think of SIDS, I think of newborns who are ultra-young. Seven months seems so “old” for SIDS. But I don’t know that much about it. I’m so grateful to have a healthy child and know that every day with her is a gift. Many prayers will be needed for that sweet family – I can’t and don’t even want to imagine their pain.

Alan is coming home – yay! We haven’t seen him in many months. His flight gets in late tonight and we’ll be having dinner tomorrow at Mom’s. He has made it clear that he is very excited to see Miss Paisley again – I’m sure she’ll love being reunited with her Uncle Vinnie.

Turco is going to the vet tomorrow. He has had a hard time walking around and getting up – his back legs/hip seems to be bothering him. We also need to get a large lump checked out that has been growing on his side. The lump doesn’t seem to bother him when I mess with it, but it has grown exponentially. I’m hoping we can get our buddy all fixed up so that he goes back to being his loving, goofy self. He didn’t even trot over when I put food in his bowl this morning. No good. Googling his symptoms hasn’t given me the warm fuzzies, either. Blerg.

If the house doesn’t sell within the next month, it is going to be pulled off the market in November so that we can enjoy our holidays. I don’t want to worry about staging and cleaning during that time. I’m already excited for the upcoming season (and totally enjoying the current cooler temperatures). My eyes are feasting on all of the muted colors and signs of change.

In the In Betweens

2011-10-03T06:14:00.000-05:00

This weekend consisted of:

a date night with my hubby
looking at two rent houses
a bridal shoot
a wedding to shoot
meeting to go over Relief Society stuff for my new calling
General Conference
a trip to Mom's
cleaning the house in a hurry for a showing that didn't happen
friends coming over

The amazing thing? There were still some really amazing quiet moments in between all. Little breaks to refresh and regenerate.

Date night is self explanatory. Mom was kind enough suggest an outing and made Friday night happen and Jeromy and I went to a restaurant and sat at the bar since there was a long wait. Something about sitting so close together was really nice. We steered away (best we could) from talking about Paisley and work and found ourselves wandering through new conversations. Good food. Knees brushing each other. Little sweet glances. Yep.

I was exhausted when I got home last night from shooting all day but as I slid into the cool sheets, I felt my body relax. Just laying in the dark and feeling a slow release of a day where you are literally running from one thing to the next is euphoric.

We drove to the lake early Sunday morning to breathe in the cool air that has landed over Texas (finally!). Something about old boathouses and sailboats off in the distance transports me. My spirit sighed. And it was a good way to kick off the Sabbath if you ask me.

Any time that Paisley lays her head on my shoulder and holds onto me like a koala hugging a tree.

And my favorite. Paisley was down for a nap and conference was on and snuggling on the couch with my sweetie pie was so perfect. His warmth and chest and the way his arm drapes was just what I needed. He still has a way of making the world around me stop. Even if it is followed by sweet cries of a certain someone just moments later.

I'm grateful for these "in betweens" that keep me going when I feel like we can't go another round. Every day miracles are built in - even on the busiest of weekends.

Now... to go forth and conquer the week. Happy Monday.

Perspective

2011-09-21T22:05:00.000-05:00

When I feel like I'm just not cutting it, I try to remember...

(pinterest)

This is so true. The fact that I work full time and have to maintain a show-worthy house while we're on the market means I can have jiggly arms and eat something out the microwave for dinner at 8:30 pm tonight, right?

Firsts

2011-09-19T21:58:00.001-05:00

Lots of firsts this weekend. Mostly gross firsts. (Sorry in advance.)

Paisley had a tummy bug and experienced the aftermath of her “getting sick.” (which puts her baby spit up to shame)

In her crib.

In the car.

Yep. Like a Dr. Seuss book or something. It brought us to a whole new level in parenting. And made us grateful that convenience stores carry paper towels. Poor Jeromy had his hands full when Paisley was still feeling puny and I developed a violent case of food poisoning on Saturday night. Lovely.

Yesterday, in an effort to keep Paisley appeased, we basically pulled out every toy in her room and would just keep giving her things to keep her happy.

“Oh – you just took apart your entire kitchen set and threw every part every which way? Cool. Here’s your Little People house with a billion pieces… go nuts, kiddo.”

Between my uselessness and Jeromy still recovering from a major sinus infection, you gotta do what you gotta do. Survival mode. Our living room looked like Toys R Us at the end of Black Friday.

But the weekend wasn’t all bad. Staying home with Paisley on Friday gave me the opportunity to see Paiser truly “walk” for the first time (video on previous post!). She has been taking steps here and there, mostly when tricked into doing it. At the most, we could stand her up, start her off, and remove our hands and she would walk a little but Friday was the first time that she just got up in the middle of the floor on her own and toddled (very slowly) her way over to me. Out of nowhere. For the distance of half the room. It caught me off guard and I swooped her in my arms once she touched my knee and told her how proud I was. She beamed and smiled and it became more real how much of a great little person I have the pleasure of parenting. Ever since that moment, she has been pushing herself to go further and faster and I see her confidence flourishing. There are all sorts of fun activities just around the bend now that she can walk. So thrilling! It was such a joy to witness this phase unfold exponentially over the last three days. I feel like I miss so much while I’m at work, so to cheer her along on this one made my heart smile. Big time.

Also cool (even if it was under sad circumstances) was that Paisley just wanted to be held all day Friday. Sure – she would play here and there, but usually for a few minutes at a time and then would lay her head on my lap and pry my knees apart and lift her arms up for me to pick her up. So we sat. I sang. She nestled. I soaked. Paisley fell asleep on my shoulder multiple times. Her soft affection was the silver lining to a gray situation (because let’s face it – when your baby is ill, you feel horrible).

Another new development this weekend… “mama.” Paisley has said it before, but just as a random babble or part of a string of noises (but still fun to hear all the same). This weekend, she used it for me. She also signs the word occasionally, too! When she was not feeling well over the weekend, she would mumble “mama” as if to say “help.” Melt. Me. This morning, when I went into her room, she popped up and said “mama!” Oh. My. Word. Child could ask for a rainbow-colored unicorn that sings and dances right now and I would get one for her as long as she kept that up.

Paisley has been busting out of her infant seat for a while. She is long and pretty much exceeded the capacity of the same seat that used to engulf her. She now has a “big girl” seat and it is weird to see her in there. She looks tiny again. (But I know that won’t be the case for long.) I think she’ll like being elevated so she can see out more. I hope this will extend her tolerance of being in the car. Can’t wait to take some mini weekend trips!

I’m thankful for good girlfriends. Squeezed in some time with two of my lovelies on Friday and was refreshed by them. Ali was kind enough to accompany Paisley and I to her doctor’s appointment and all of us caught some fresh air with Keishah (and Ezra) afterwards by taking a short walk. Getting some outdoor time was just what Pais and I needed, too. I’m blessed that my sweet friends “get” it. Always. Coming into one’s own is so much easier when surrounded by delightful companions. I love the people that I have the good fortune of knowing and am happy that I can learn from their grace.

And that rain this weekend? Divine. I could hear the earth celebrating as it came down. We might get some more this week, yes?

Jeromy has decided that Pais outta have bubble baths. Regularly. So he bought some bubbles and has used them on every bath since. I love that J treats P like “his girl” and that he regularly goes out of his way to make things special for her. Sooo cute. And another fun "first."

Had to turn around and get Prince tonight after picking Paisley up from school. Yes, he is that important. I'm sure P's teacher thought I was crazy when I called the school and told her we were coming back for the frog. Nobody left behind.

That is about it. Good night!

Baby Steps

2011-09-18T21:48:00.002-05:00

Even though Paisley technically started walking a few weeks ago, it wasn't until recently that she has really taken off. We don't have to trick her into bobbling out some steps. She does it knowing full and well that she has no support. I see the uncertainty in her eyes and the triumph in her smile.

She falls. A lot. But she gets up. A lot. And we can't be more proud.

Mind Soup

2011-09-14T22:09:00.001-05:00

Jeromy has been crazy sick this week. Like – miss-two-days-of-work-sick. He had some slight allergies late last week and into the weekend but woke up on Sunday feeling (and sounding) miserable. Drainage, coughing, hacking, sore throat, the whole bit. The trend has continued even though he went to the doctor and got some meds. Paisley has been sick at night. During the day, she is fine and her teachers say that she seems normal but every night for the past week, she gets up anywhere from 10:30 to 1:00 a.m. and starts a pattern of congestion/coughing/fussiness. It’s been a rough time in the Lackey household and we’re all very very tired. I’m having flashbacks to this time last year (except I have to actually get up around 5:00 a.m. in the morning and get ready for work and take Pais to school after these late night parties). I’m threatening to get a hotel room tonight. Ha!

I’m loving Paisley’s school more and more. The director always takes time to acknowledge Paisley when she sees her and calls Paisley her little “Snork” because they both play the snort game back and forth. The other week, Paisley was doing some arm movements during dinner and looking up at me like I should be doing something, too. I asked about it the next day and was told about a song they were sing during circle time. I was so excited that she had learned something new and was showing us at home! They taught me the song and it’s a regular occurrence at our house now! Every time I go into her classroom, things are orderly and her teachers are happy and pleasant. Her classmates are happy and well taken care of. It is heart wrenching to leave your kiddo (especially when you know she’s not in a “home” environment), but finding the right school near work has made the concern melt away.

This weekend was kind of a bust (except for Saturday night). We spent 90% of our time cleaning. Like deep cleaning. Washed bedding, vacuumed curtains, dusted everywhere, shampooed carpet, fixed fence slats, etc. and so forth. Almost the whole weekend was spent in this endeavor for our open house on Sunday. I was grateful that Mom could keep Paisley a good chunk of Saturday so we could focus and get things knocked out. Our open house was held with another home on the street and the result was less than good for both of us. Kind of discouraging to be honest. I’m having a lesson in patience with all of this and am trying to learn to have more faith in God’s timing, which – let’s face it – is sometimes hard. A good conversation about this topic came at the right time this afternoon. Sometimes, waiting isn’t even about us personally. Just because you have a pause, it doesn’t mean by default that you aren’t ready or worthy for a blessing. If we do all that we can do on our end and things still don’t happen, we should find the peace to bloom where we are planted. As someone who is always looking ahead to “the next thing,” I need to remember this often.

A bright spot of the weekend was having dinner at the Eastmans’ house along with the Williams family. It had been a while since we had seen everyone and Jesica made the most delicious dinner – probably the best food I’ve had in a long time. She is truly talented and her house and meal looked like something off of Pinterest. For reals. As if that weren’t enough, Amy brought some of her RWOP award-winning cookies (that we have lovingly dubbed the “$25,000 cookie”) for dessert and it knocked my socks off. Seriously. I don’t know how I have such lovely, beautiful, and skilled friends, but I do (and I’m so happy). The night was so warm and enjoyable and it was fun to see the kids play in between catching up. Owen is turning into a little boy and Liam became a “guy” over the summer somehow. Liam also told Jeromy that he liked Paisley and that he thinks Paisley likes him, too. Liam was so sweet and would encourage her to walk (which she totally did in front of everyone – squee!). I love our friends.

Is it sad that I’m totally stoked for the holidays coming up? I realized that it’s not too early to be arranging vacation time and all of that business. Just emailing Jeromy potential take off dates made me crave peppermint hot chocolate from the BUX. Cooler temperatures are a welcome guest this week.

Mom is going to scrapbook retreat tomorrow. I’m totally jealous, but I’m looking forward to seeing what she comes back with. I’m sure her pages will be beautiful.

I’m excited that my little brother will be coming home from Yellowstone in October. I know that Paisley will be happy to be reunited with her Uncle Vinny!

No purse can serve two masters. Or at least any purse I own. Trying to find a cute bag that will hold my normal purse stuff, a DSLR camera, and an iPad. Yep. I want it all. I have two sizable purses that I love and could probably cram everything in there, but the result leaves me wondering about the structural integrity of the bag. Any tips? There are a couple of sites I have found that make such bags (that are super cute, too), but they are hecka expensive. Of course.

Trying to figure out what Pais is going to be for Halloween. Nothing is really speaking to me right now.

Lots of “hoorays” on behalf of family and friends lately. New pregnancies/sono results. New jobs. Babies being born. People getting married. Things working out. All sorts of goodness going around. I love it and think it’s a great way to launch into fall.

Labor Day

2011-09-08T22:51:00.001-05:00

This long weekend was fantastic. Highlights included (in no order):

Sleeping in

A nap

Going to the Modern Art Museum with Ali and Jed

Paisley's first steps (taken at school on Friday but she finally showed us on Sunday)

Trying out Jersey Mike's for the first time

Going to visit my parents and cooking out

Saving up enough money to buy the iPad 2 (which I already love and used to edit the photos in this post, to upload, and even to type this entry even though the keyboard took some adjustment)

A trip to the Japanese gardens (where Paisley ate a fish food pellet while we were feeding fish)

Finished watching the Friends series, which I watched for the first time in my life earlier this year

Lots of down time with P and Jeromy - our living room was filled with toys and laughter

An absence of intense housework

Much lower temperatures (heavenly)

So yeah - pretty amazing.

There are lots and lots of photos from our shenanigans, but I've included the highlights below. There are more on my Flickr page if you are crazy bored and need to see more. :)

Things are about to get a bit crazy for us again. Lots of wedding fanfare for friends and I need to figure out some field trips for P and I since Jeromy needs to get serious about studying. We will be in a cleaning frenzy this weekend to prepare for an open house this Sunday.

First Day Again

2011-08-30T20:55:00.010-05:00

Nothing makes you feel like parent of the year more than sitting back and realizing that you've changed child care situations 4 times in 12 months (Ali, day care, Mom, Dafni).

And tomorrow, the list grows to five.

Blarg.

We are so in love with Dafni and her family and it has been nothing but fantastic for Paisley to be there and have a little friend to get into trouble with and eat snacks together.

Melts. Me.

Dafni and her crew were able to move from their apartment they didn't like (yay!) and landed in a house that is out of the way of our commute (boo! for us... not them... we're delighted they found somewhere they love and know how much it means for them - huzzah!). Lousy logistics have yielded a need for us to find care for Paisley.

Even though I hate being away from Paisley while I'm at work, I'm fortunate in that every single situation she has been in has been one that she has been truly loved and cared for. Not all working parents can say that. And interestingly enough, I think she has landed with the right person/personality type at the right time in her development. I've never once driven off and been concerned that Paisley wasn't being looked after in the best way possible. I try to do my best to ensure that the trend continues.

We would have happily placed Pais back in her old school, but due to Jeromy's new job, the location is now out of the way for both of us. Darn those logistics (again).

Luckily, we were blessed to find a school just down the street from Jeromy's work that we visited and loved. It was clean. The teachers were warm and friendly. The rooms are beautiful. Their menu is amazing. And it seems to be very well ran. Plus, the online reviews were all glowing.

Paisley was able to squeeze into their last spot and she starts tomorrow. You know a director is awesome if she tells you, "Should you have a day where you are just missing Paisley in a big way, give me a call and I can snap a photo of her in class and email it to you so you can put it up as your wallpaper at work." Amazing.

I'm still going to have a hard time with it and may well cry. For someone who has done this a lot, I still have a hard time with changes involving Miss P. The notion of a mom leaving her small child for a big chunk of the day is relatively new if you back up and look at how it has been done for centuries and centuries. Being with Paisley is hardwired in and still takes all of my emotional strength some days. And even though I've been leaving her for almost a year, starting all over with someone new just makes it feel like the first day again.

On a lighter note, when I was filling out paperwork for Paisley's school, it asked "what do you love most about your child?"

My answer: "she's freakin' amazing."

Yep.

Family Shenanigans!

2011-08-28T12:14:00.003-05:00

The last month or two has had some great family happenings! In late July, we went to the Lackey Reunion in Haskell, TX. Our road trip started off with excitement, but not a good kind. There was a bad grass fire near our home and we saw ash dropping in our yard. We saw that it was being addressed by the fire department, though, so off we went. Just down the road, we saw a Uhaul truck on fire near a subdivision where our friends, the Eastmans, live. Come to find out, Evan had actually helped the family in their neighborhood load the truck just a bit earlier. It's so tragic that they lost a lot of their belongings. :( I heard that a lot of people came together that evening to clean off what they could and help this family out. I told Jeromy that if the rest of our trip included more fires, we were in trouble. Luckily, it was smooth sailing from there. We stayed in Abilene that night and continued on to Haskell in the morning.

This reunion was special to Jeromy and I since it was Paisley's first. It was also a first for us in that she really showed her first big bit of stranger/crowd anxiety. She had experienced episodes prior to this, but she was cautious of new faces the entire time. It was so strange to see her be so scared of everyone. Even so, we had a good time as always catching up with loved ones. Paisley eventually warmed up for a few minutes as well. I'm always in awe of how fast all the little ones grow and to hear updates from all the families. The guys did a great job in working the auction, including modeling bonnets. I think it is really neat when they have items that have been in the family for a long time. We bought an apron with paisley print that Jeromy's grandma made a long time ago. Three guesses on who I am planning to put it up for. :)

On the way back, Jeromy and I stopped off and found the only geocache in Haskell. Ha!

Yesterday, the three of us packed up and went to Killeen. We spent the day at the Mayos' house and had a blast. One of their dogs had puppies, so Paisley got to play with one, which was super fun to watch. I wanted to take more photos during the day but I was too busy taking it all in... we definitely want to go back more often. Grandma Lynda arrived with barbeque and we spent the afternoon laughing and enjoying one another. I always leave inspired by my six cousins and all the great things they are doing. Each one is incredibly gorgeous inside and out and talented to boot. I am also always humbled by the sweet spirit of my aunt, who is a tough cookie and probably one of the best moms the world will ever know. Being around everyone kinda makes a girl want a big family of her own - heh. We stopped by Grandma Lynda's house on the way back and saw some sewing projects she has been working on for humanitarian aid - what a lady, huh? She also sent us home with an adorable dress she made for Miss Paisley. So so so sweet! I'm really excited that the Mayos want to do another round of family photos later this year and that I can do some senior photos for Max and Sam. Whee! I'm still trying to get my Aunt Susan to fess up on her secret to not aging. :)

Family has always been a blessing to me, but it seems even more so now that we have Paisley. I'm so thankful that God provided such a great group of people to be around both Jeromy and I to serve as such great examples (and who are a joy to be around!).

Dusk and Summer

2011-08-23T13:20:00.002-05:00

Even though the temperatures would suggest otherwise, summer is setting. My Facebook wall has been dappled with the images of fresh faced kiddos in carefully selected outfits heading off to school. A new year has begun for them and with that, this sun saturated season is closing.

Even though she isn't holding a lunch box or trotting off with an oversized backpack, this shift has also shed light on the ever growing independence of my girl. Appropriately born in the Year of the Tiger, there is a quiet fierceness in her. Just yesterday, we were playing together and she pushed her toy to the edge of the room where she sat by herself exploring buttons and figuring things out. She didn't need/want my help.

It feels weird to be at a place where I need to give her space, even if it's only five feet away.

This weekend was busy and relaxing all at the same time. Sometimes I just don't know how I can have activies brimming from the moment my feet hit the floor to the moment I shut off the light but never seem to accomplish anything noteworthy. I'm having to refocus the way I measure things. In the past with Red Brick, a large portion of my time resulted in a finished product. But now, my time is resulting in experiences. It's a change that I'm getting used to.

Last Saturday, I attended a wedding shower for my friend, Katie. It has been such a great pleasure to get to know Katie and her family over the years. And they probably have no idea how much they have touched my life. I originally became friends with Katie's older sister, Kim, at work and my connection with her unfolded into beautiful bonds with her sisters and parents. They are an amazing group of people and they genuinely enjoy being with each other. Katie's family are a great example to me and I'm always honored to share in the celebration of fun events with them.

The shower was lovely (of course!). Crazy enough, I accidentally had my first ever alcohol experience, as I mistakenly got a glass of wine and had started to drink away. Eeep! I tied for first place in the "who has the most stuff on this list in their purse" game as well as the "if you hear someone say 'Chip,' you steal their clothespin" game. This probably sounds weird, but Katie's mom's hugs are a huge highlight of these gatherings. She is so warm and open and sweet - and when the lady hugs you, she HUGS you. Like you're one of her own. Saturday was no different.

I've been wrapped and enveloped by a gloriously diverse group of ladies recently and I love it. There has never been a time in my life where I have had so many lady friends around. And the circle keeps growing. I thought getting married and becoming a mom would mean a fade in socializing, but in some ways, it has only enriched it. The history and mature friendships I share with others are some of my most prized treasures. I am so happy that Heavenly Father sent strong women to be sisters to me. It warms my heart to see my friends love on my baby so much. I know that these influences will shape Paisley's world, and I know their wonderful qualities will help to fill in the gaps for the areas where I am weak. How cool is that? It makes my heart smile to see friends interact with Paisley. And you know what? I genuinely love and adore their babies, too. So so so much. (Even the ones who aren't here yet.) I would move mountains for any of them.

I am blessed.

All that to say...when I hear of good news, such as upcoming marriages and whatnot, I'm just so warm. I can't wait until Katie and Chip's wedding in October!

While I was at Katie's shower, Jeromy snapped a shot of Paisley in her kitchen. This must have been early on, as most of the kitchen pieces appear to be in place. After "play," said pieces are usually on the floor. Ten feet away from the kitchen.

On a different note, we tried out the FUR-minator this weekend. It's a really expensive brush thing for pets, and let me tell you... the thing is amazing. Combed the pups for about 45 minutes and got gobs and gobs of hair off of them. Turco was in a relaxed, happy state for the rest of the night. I'm hoping that regular use will keep me from sweeping a cat-sized amount of hair off the floors every other day (no exaggeration).

(Title is from Dashboard Confessional's album, Dusk and Summer. Which I always seem to listen to this time of year. Perfect soundtrack for a gentle change. Do you have any albums that you listen to at a certain time of year (besides Christmas obviously)?)

The Good Life

2011-08-16T12:57:00.003-05:00

This weekend was "good busy" even though my allergies completely kicked my trash on Sunday. Highlights include:

Hanging out with multiple sets of friends
Eating peach cobbler (my fave dessert)
Watching Toy Story 3 (even though it made me bawl like a baby)
Rain! (which blew in something horrid that made my face melt inside out)
Thrifting for some clothes (Mr. Ramsey would be proud.)
Freebirds
Getting all caught up on our laundry
Taking a nap (much needed on Sunday when I felt like chicken snot)
Grocery shopping
Using steamer bags for the first time to make green beans that weren't from a can (delish by the way)
Lots of play time with Miss Paisley
Going to Charming Charlie for the first time (Oh. My. Word. My wallet is going to be soooo empty. Didn't buy any treasures for me this round, but I can't make promises for next time. Anyone want to go soon?)
Watched a documentary on the President Obama's photographer - super interesting!
Grocery shopping at a normal time of day (usually we procrastinate and it involves a late night run by Jeromy)
An awesome action figure of a princess-looking girl swinging a sword around...she won't need rescuing. Can all of P's future toys be as bad-bum as this, please?
Finding our food processor so we can start making baby food for Paisley this week

Pretty awesome, huh? And that's with being sick at home for a full day. I never realized that there was so much time on weekends before. I'm really happy with the changes we have made in our lifestyle and am looking forward to more fun times like this.

Jeromy is in the process of studying for certifications so Paisley and I are going to be readily available for all sorts of shenanigans. I feel like we've been cooped up in the house for ages and am trying to find things to do to get out and about. I'm dying for it to cool down so we can start enjoying the outdoors... our sweet girl is on the verge of walking and I can't wait to see her toddle down park paths and explore nature.

I hope everyone is having a great Tuesday!

Mind Soup

2011-08-12T16:53:00.005-05:00

Wedding season is coming up… but in a new way. Instead of getting ready to shoot a bazillion weddings and be up to my eyeballs in edits, I actually get to attend three lovely weddings this fall for beloved friends! To prep for all the fun, I went to a shower for Lori last weekend. It was wonderful and I got to catch up with girlfriends Jenny and Jenna (who is also getting married). The tissue paper dress activity at Lori’s shower yielded the nicest looking paper gown I’ve ever seen! I'm excited that there will be another shower next weekend for my friend, Katie. Whee!

Sometimes, Dafni sends me photos of Miss Paisley during the day (which makes me beam with joy!). Below are some from her adventures this week. My favorite is the one of Paisley and Jaylee eating snack together. Those two are becoming good buddies and it makes me feel all soft when I see the girls interact. I’m really grateful that Paisley is learning the beginnings of friendship. Paisley and Jaylee spent some time outside when we had one hour of cooler temperatures. I was informed that Miss P doesn't like sitting on grass and she had to have a blanket. Heh.

On my way home Monday, I got tapped in the rear by an 18 wheeler. I saw the truck coming up fast on me (there was a wreck just behind us to the right) in my rearview mirror and tried to move out of his way, but couldn’t quite clear him. It was miraculous that the damage wasn’t more severe. I am fine and just need to deal with all the logistics of getting the poor car fixed. I’m impressed with Scion – the car took the impact well and didn’t crunch as bad it felt like it would.

Interestingly enough, this wreck happened on August 8th. Significant things keep happening to me on this date (usually not a good outcome, either). I’m thinking I need to stay home on the next 8/8. Seriously.

My money envelopes came in! We are doing the Dave Ramsey cash envelope system (which I am LOVING), but I hated dealing with gobs of flimsy paper envelopes in my purse. Etsy to the rescue. I found a shop (Saving Money In Style) who does customized money systems. She is great and her products are fab. I have six envelopes with my own categories, a change purse, and a wallet pouch thing to keep it all in. I’ve already received compliments by cashiers (because the fabric is sooo cute) and it’s great to have my funds in something so sturdy. I. Love. Etsy. That is all.

Fun story. A while back …like almost six months ago I think… I received a message on Facebook from a guy named Tim who had seen my blog. He was looking for a stuffed owl that his daughter, Samantha, had lost (named “Hootie”). Hootie was the same owl that Paisley uses in her monthly chair photos and he wanted to know where I got it. I told him it was at Target but that we had bought the last one at our store. Tim and I both searched the internet trying to find another Hootie. I would have totally given him ours at the time but I was over a half year into our photo project (which is a lame reason, but the OCD in me couldn’t switch gears). I sent him all the tag info and he even tried to contact Target’s warehouse directly, with no luck. I would even check eBay regularly and could never find it. A while later, we were shopping in another store and Jeromy spotted a Hootie!!! We were so excited and grabbed it for Samantha. In an attempt to make it seem like Hootie just took a trip to Texas, we sent Hootie with some Texas swag and told her via postcard that he was just on a trip but came home. Some time passed and we got a little something the postcard read, “Dear Miss Mandy, Samantha says, “I love you. Thanks for finding Hootie. That’s all.” Thank you so much!! We found a California owl for you. We hope you like him. God bless! ~Tim and Samantha.” The owl they sent is so cute – when it is near sunlight, it turns its head back and forth. We love it. I’m so happy that the medium of the internet can help us help each other.

Hit a milestone in my weight loss. Yesterday marked one month since I made a serious effort to "eat less and move more." No gimmicks. No tricks. As of this morning, I've lost 12.6 pounds. Not too shabby. It felt good to mark "Lose 10 pounds" off of my 101 in 1001 list. I still have loads more to go, but it's working. Kudos to a husband who has drastically changed his diet on my behalf and goes to the gym with me when time permits. :)

12 Months

2011-08-11T13:28:00.002-05:00

Nicknames: Pais, “P”, Pais-a-lini, Squirt, Monster, Paiser, Monkey, Baby Girl, Chunk-of-fart (gross I know – but it comes from a place of love), Fart-fart (again… gross I know, but we’re being honest, here)

Temperament: You have become quite the mixed bag lately. You recently started some clinginess and stranger anxiety when we are around a large amount of people. You burrow your head into my chest and refuse to go to a new set of arms. I am sad that you don’t enjoy making new friends as you once did, but since you have never been a cuddler, I am taking advantage of the affection you are giving me. You have continued to make huge strides in your motor skills and you have doubts in your abilities. Even though we can trick you into standing unassisted, you won’t willingly do it on your own (yet). We see you testing your balance from time to time and I know you’ll be walking unassisted before we know it. Your love of music has increased and you enjoy dancing and waving your arms around to beats – you have good rhythm, Paisley! I’m so pleased that you still retain your happy disposition and you are such a charmer when you aren’t hiding from others.

Things I Could Do Without: You are growing too fast. I feel like I never have enough time to soak you in, Paisley. But I have a feeling that won’t end. Other than that, you have a weird aversion to certain food textures, which has made it difficult to transition you to “real” foods. It isn’t that big of an issue, though, as we just keep trying until you figure out that [insert food here] isn’t so bad after all. I’m so eager to share new foods with you, but I’m just going to have to be more patient.

Item/Toy We Love The Most: Books. You just recently gained the patience to actually sit through reading pages to you and you love flipping the pages when you hear us pause (and sometimes before). I’m so glad that you have an early love of books and it makes me happy when you grab one and hand it to me. There are so many I’m looking forward to reading you!

Item/Toy You Love The Most: Anything that plays music so you can sway and wave your arms. If it lights up, too, that is a bonus.

Things I’m Loving Most Right Now: You will actually kiss me now (although not often). How you curl your lower lip under when you say “yep.” That you are getting better about not chunking your sippy cup on the floor and will make an attempt to hand it to me first (but if I’m too slow, on the floor it goes). That you can say “da da” (let’s work on “ma ma” now, okay?). When you lay on me at the end of the day and tuck your arm up under mine. The way you hand me your Prince lovee in the morning before I pick you up to make sure he is not forgotten. When you smell like Goldfish crackers. The way you look in light blue. The way you laugh (always my favorite). The way you “jump” with excitement when you see Daddy or me or something you love. Your sweet smooth skin. How you are a tough cookie and rarely cry, even if you take a nasty fall – you just try again – a lovely quality to keep through your life. The way your hair curls in the back – sooo cute. How you look like a Baby Godzilla with your Little People in your fists and throwing them all around the living room. How you fell asleep on Daddy while opening gifts at your party (you may think you are a big girl now, but I know you are still my baby)

Things You’re Loving Most Right Now: dancing; blowing raspberries or grunting during quiet times in church; chasing Turco and Bacon; eating food; music; babbling in the car after I pick you up (I pretend you are telling me about your day); playing with your new friend, Jaylee; blowing kisses; walking around anything you can hold on to (you like going between the ottoman and the couch, using my knee as a go-between); looking at books; bath time in the “big tub”; trying to escape from your car seat; eating shoes

Other Milestones/Fun Things: you crawl with your belly up; we buy you some Stride Rite shoes; started to eat new things like yogurt drops, cheese and Cheerios; you say “da da”; you stand unassisted for over five seconds; you finally kiss Mommy; you pull up to your feet; we lower your crib; Lackey Family Reunion; your first birthday party; you start staying with Dafni and befriend her little girl, Jaylee

11 Months

2011-08-11T13:11:00.003-05:00

Nicknames: Pais, Pais-a-lini, Squirt, Monster, Cheese Monster, Paiser, Monkey, Baby Girl, Love

Temperament: Your confidence and independence have increased significantly and you have made so many strides in your milestones. You have developed a new sense of determination and curiosity and it has been soooo fun to see you get tickled with yourself when you accomplish a goal. Your “I did it!” face is the most precious thing ever. I look forward to seeing it over and over as your grow. You have become even more interactive than you were and are becoming more proficient at mimicking sounds and communicating. You love blowing kisses to just about anyone and usually follow it up with a wave. You also love animals and have taken renewed interest in the dogs. I feel like you have become a little sponge in the last few weeks and are just soaking in everything around you. I love to see how much joy the world brings you, Paisley. And I want you to know that it will just get better and better.

Things I Could Do Without: You kiss Daddy and Lolee. You kiss stuffed animals. And furniture. You kiss characters in books. But you won’t kiss your mommy, who loves you so. We need to work on that. You want to put shoes in your mouth. Your shoes. Mommy’s shoes. Everyone’s. And while I am trying to not be a germophobe mommy, I have to draw the line somewhere.

Item/Toy We Love The Most: The ottoman. You love being able to “cruise” around it and it hits you at just the right height. You are no longer content to be in confined toys like jumpers, walkers, or anything of the sort. Our ottoman gives you a chance to use your legs to move around in a controlled fashion and still give you a sense of freedom.

Item/Toy You Love The Most: The dogs make you smile and laugh every time you see them. But I guess they really don’t count as an item or toy now, do they? You have had new interest in stuffed animals, particularly oversized ones. I think your love of animals means that you are going to love going to the zoo when it cools down!

Things I’m Loving Most Right Now: The way your little voice sounds (so cute). You still spin your feet when you are happy. You giggle more and more every month – I hope that the trend doesn’t stop. The way you chase after the dogs with a crazy look in your eye. How you looked up at us with a big smile on your face when you were learning how to sit yourself up (and yes, we are SO proud of you). The way you keep trying. Your top two teeth came through and you weren’t fussy about it at all. You still give in and let me cuddle you from time to time. The way your hair curls up in the back (melt!). I feel like your eyes are getting bigger and bluer all the time – you are so beautiful, honey. That you are social and that you love going out to stores and restaurants (we always get compliments on how good you are).

Things You’re Loving Most Right Now: learning how to sit up by yourself and almost pulling up; the “little man” figure in your Duplo set; chewing on bath toys; dancing with Daddy; touching Turco and Bacon; escaping when you are nakie nakie during diaper changes; saying “boo” after I go “boop” and tap your nose; spending time with family; waving; feeding yourself finger foods; playing with tags

Other Milestones/Fun Things: you go from a laying down position to a sitting position all by yourself; you become proficient at army crawling; first father’s day – you give daddy a card you help make and a GPS; you pull up to your knees; you blow your first kiss; you say your first consonant sound (“boo”); you stand for five seconds unassisted; your top two teeth come through; first July 4th – you are terrified of fireworks so we leave early (you’ll like it next year I think)

10 Months

2011-08-11T13:06:00.003-05:00

Nicknames: Pais, Pais-a-lini, Squirt, Little Monster, Stinky McFinky, Finky, Cheese Monster, Paiser

Temperament: It’s been a rough month for you, sweet girl – teething has definitely impacted your mood, as you are (understandably) uncomfortable and in pain. Even so, you still have many periods of happiness and are a constant source of joy. Your separation anxiety pops up every now and then, most often in the evenings. If Daddy or I go out of your sight, you let us know that you don’t like that. We took you off your binky and you did great – you are such an easy baby and I’m so grateful that you are laid back. You have warmed up to your Grumpa and do really well when Nana takes you on the weekends for fun adventures.

Things I Could Do Without: You just recently started to wake up in the middle of the night upset. We haven’t figured out if it is teething or nightmares, but it comes out of nowhere and you are alarmed and do not go back to sleep easily. I feel bad for you, as I never want you to be in any discomfort or feel afraid. We do our best to comfort you and make you feel safe when you show signs of distress at night. I’ve noticed that on the days following these events, you are “off” from your schedule and unsettled in general. I hope this phase passes for you soon, Paisley! You are more challenging to handle in church – you become very wiggly and vocal as soon as we enter the church building... Daddy and I take turns walking around with you in the hall so you don’t disturb the congregation. I know that most of this is due to your teething and the fact that you don’t get your morning nap in on Sundays.

Item/Toy We Love The Most: Orajel and Infant Tylenol. (How horrible is that?) But anything that soothes you and makes you happy again makes me happy. We don’t use it often, but when things get bad and you are miserable, it does the trick. My heart literally hurts when you are in pain, Paisley.

Item/Toy You Love The Most: Your free-range walker at Lolee’s house. You have become a champ at using it and enjoy chasing Lolee and Dee-Dee around. You love the sense of freedom it gives you and you enjoy exploring new areas of the house!

Things I’m Loving Most Right Now: That you self-soothe without a binky (and saved us a fight later down the road). The way your little white teeth look in your mouth. How you hold puffs in both of your fists when eating. The way you kick your legs when you see me in the morning. The way you want to do everything yourself (already). The few times this month that you let me cuddle you as you slept (usually after a late night waking episode). How you smell after eating Goldfish Crackers (our little Cheese Monster). The way you come straight to me in your walker when I pick you up at Lolee’s. The way you play pat-a-cake with Dee-Dee and love her so. Anything with ruffles. Knowing that you’ll be able to play with super fun toys before we know it (I’m already dreaming of doll houses and kitchen sets). You still get excited playing peek-a-boo. The way you chase the dogs and corner Turco when we have your walker at the house. You’re starting to wave more consistently (so cute!). That you can have 10 toys around you and the only thing you want is your diaper cream or lotion bottle. At times, there’s just a certain way you look straight into my eyes that melts me to the core – it’s a content look that tells me that despite my flaws, you’re doing just great.

Things You’re Loving Most Right Now: walking in your walker; taking your shoes off; any meal time; playing pat-a-cake; smiling back at anyone who smiles at you; the red ball and toy cell phone Aunt Susan gave to you; bath time; drinking from your sippy cup like a big girl; moving away mommy’s hand when she tries to show you how to hold your sippy cup; being carried by Daddy; trying to put your hands “down there” when you are being changed; playing peek-a-boo; riding in cars; trying to catch your doggies as they walk by you

Other Milestones/Fun Things: Mother’s Day – you give me a digital frame so I can look at your sweet face all day while at work; first kid’s birthday party (for your second cousin, Adam) followed by another party for cousin Joshua; Daddy starts his new job and can take you in the mornings and is home earlier; first tooth (quickly followed by your second tooth); first goldfish crackers; first Rangers game

Happy Birthday, Paisley

2011-08-07T16:55:00.002-05:00

(this is a photo of the best moment of my life. so thankful for the power of images.)

Dear Paisley,

You are one today. We had a celebration last weekend and you had a cute outfit and cool presents and got to taste cake for the first time. But even with all the color and fanfare and packages from the last week, my mind cannot stop thinking about the moment we met. Black and white memories like the one above have saturated my heart and I am still overwhelmed that you were brought into Daddy's and my lives.

It's an understatement to say that our love has grown for you over this last year.

In many ways, this first year has been easier than we anticipated. The effects of short-lived physical inconveniences of no sleep and such shed away the moment you look at us. We have joked that our number one goal this year was to keep you alive. And I'm happy to say that you are a healthy, happy, round beauty of a girl. Mission accomplished. In some ways, this year has been harder. I never knew that my heart could literally ache when you cry when you are in pain or are sick. I still have days where I sob on the way to work because I hate leaving you. The emotional side of parenting is what took me for a ride these last twelve months. Even despite the feelings of inadequacy I sometimes have as your mom, your giggles and playful claps help to convince me otherwise. Thank you for that, sweetie. This next year will be filled with boundaries and new skills and adventures. I am terrified and excited all at the same time. Always know that everything that Daddy and I do for you is what we feel is in your best interest. It goes against our grain to do anything other than that.

You have taken me by surprise, Paisley. I always knew you would be an awesome kid, but you have blown away any expectations I had before meeting you a year ago. Your personality is all I ever dreamed for in a little girl and then some. I'm delighted that you inherited many of your Daddy's traits - they will serve you well. You are purposeful with your communication and soak in the world around you. You are so loved by our network of family and friends and I know that you will be supported all throughout your life by amazing people.

I'm looking forward to the new developments you will have in the upcoming months. Daddy and I enjoy experiencing things with you and reliving the thrill of the "every day." You have literally increased our love for God and each other and we can't thank you enough for that.

Paisley - we know you are a special and select daughter of God and I can't wait until you can start to understand what that means. I have a testimony that you were chosen just for Daddy and I. You are perfect and everything we could ever hope for. I love how you wake up beaming each day and already exhibit passion for the world around you. It's a great place, Paisley, and it has been made better just by you being here.

Happy Birthday, my baby girl.

Love,

Mom and Dad

Mind Soup

2011-08-05T22:03:00.002-05:00

Man oh man... this week flew. Random thoughts rolling around in my noggin'...

Went grocery shopping for the first time in a while and we shopped completely different. No microwavable crap. No sweets. Lots of fruits/veggies. Even hummus and flat bread. Crazy for yours truly (who eats horrible). I've been trying to eat smaller portions of things more frequently. It seems to be working despite the fact that I haven't exercised in a while. Seven pounds down... loads more to go. It's intimidating to say the least. But I at least know this is working. I keep trying to focus on little milestones ahead. Need to get back on exercise but I've been tired for the last couple of weeks (lame excuse but it is what I got). Hoping to catch up on sleep this weekend and resume the circuit training and/or running. Jeromy and I have determined that we each need two extra hours in the day. If anyone figures that out, let us know.
Speaking of food, I think someone is going through a huge growth spurt. Paisley is eating and sleeping a ton. I expect her to be five feet tall at the end of the month if she keeps this up. It's so fun that she's finally starting to eat more and more things. She actually ate a banana this week. Up until then, she would just feel it with her hands, make a face, and throw it on the ground. I think we may be conquering some texture issues.

Paisley's first week at Dafni's was a great success. Dafni is a sweetheart and genuinely loves Miss P. Dafni's little girl melts me with how good she is with Paisley. Seriously... the two are little buddies now and it's the sweetest thing ever. I need to see them fight or something so that my ovaries don't start chanting or something crazy like that (just kidding - no fights, girls...). But seriously - it is so great that Paisley is already making little girl friends and that she has a "big girl" around daily to watch and observe.
Went to the JBF presale on Thursday night and it was fab. Scored tons of cute little outfits for Paisley and felt like a kid in a candy store. She'll look like an angel this fall/winter for sure. It's so funny to start seeing less and less onsies in her upcoming sizes and more actual "little girl" items. I could have bought twice what I did, but my full Costco bag is enough to tickle me pink. We also found a walking toy for Paisley and she loves it.
The girl loves music. She has started to really dance to songs now and Miss P has some rhythm! It is so cute to see her push a button on a toy and dance to the song and when it ends, she'll push it again and dance more.
Pretty low key weekend this week. Which is totally fine. There will be a lot of those coming up and I honestly don't know what to do with myself. Eeek! Going to a bridal shower for a dear friend tomorrow, so that will be fun. Other than that, I plan to pop in a movie and get caught up on laundry (in between play sessions with my girl).
Paisley's last official day as a baby is tomorrow. I am still in denial about this. Jeromy assures me that things will just get better and better. I know there is a lot to look forward to. This next year will be fantastic.
I think the heat has made my dogs go into hyper shed drive or something. We've been trying to keep the sweet hounds brushed regularly, but to no avail. I've never seen it so bad. I don't know how they haven't gone bald yet with all the hair we have swept up in the last month. We even switched to a recommended food and while it helped some, it wasn't enough. And our dogs stay inside 98% of the time. Anyone else's dog going nutso in this weather?
Scored a new haircut this week. Love it and am happy to have some of the length off.

That's about it. Mainly because I'm tired and ready for bed like an old person at 10:30 on a Friday night. Huzzah!

Mix

2011-08-03T12:49:00.002-05:00

Oh, that Paisley. Looking more "tot" than baby these days. Okay, okay.. looking all "tot" these days.

Growing into a stunning little girl. Bursting and quiet. Determined and uncertain. Fierce and soft. Playful and serious. Curious and cautious.

She really is a perfect mix of everything.

Paisley's ONE-derland Party

2011-07-30T22:31:00.005-05:00

(more of these coming later... eee!)

Oh. My. Gosh. So much to say and unable to find words all at the same time. Since photos tell stories so well, I'll let the images do the talking after a couple of thoughts...

I got in a bit over my head on this one. And I didn't figure it out until late in the game. My crafting went into hyper-drive and I neglected to factor in the time involved in setting said decorations up. Family came to the rescue on this one, folks. Whether it was keeping the Birthday Girl entertained or setting out teacups, we were blessed to have some angels available to help us pull everything off. (And no, I'm not going to do something as involved every year, but I really wanted to do something special for Paisley's first birthday. It turned out perfect.)

I'm so thankful for the internet, which allowed non-creative and non-craftsy me to make fun things like a pinwheel banner or tissue poms or to even learn what a "pettiromper" is (in case you are wondering, the pettiromper is probably the cutest thing a baby girl could ever wear).

I'm glad my mom forced me to take a photo with Paisley. Even though every inch of me was sweaty and my hair had fallen flat (it's soooo getting cut soon) and I generally hate how I look in pictures (and in real life - heh). But even just one day later, I'm so thankful for that photo. I want my sweet girl to know how joyful she makes me. Insecurities aside, I know I can't help to beam when I'm holding my treasure.

Jeromy and I have the best people around us. Hands down. I'm constantly amazed at the folks who have been intertwined with us on this life thing. Whether it is a new family at church or an awesome couple that started out as photography clients, I see the Lord's hand in our web of interactions. We are rich.

Jeromy wins the best husband award for party involvement alone. He got on board with this "Wonderland" theme and built a backdrop stand and helped me to puff poms in the wee hours. All with a smile and excitement for what we were doing for Paisley. Jeromy is precious and I can't believe that I have such a caring and involved husband there for me (on top of being cute).

I love Paisley and wish I could find more eloquent words to describe what she has done to me. Every fiber of my being is delighted in her. I'm so so so thankful for this year and have said multiple times that it has been the best year of my life. Parenting is so fun. I never knew I could be so happy. I never knew I could love Jeromy any more than I already did (when I see him tenderly pick Paisley up or make her laugh or even change a diaper with a smile, I know that I have a true partner and an amazing man). I'm so grateful for the blessing of being a mother and know that we have truly been sent a choice spirit. It was so wonderful to celebrate her and the precious lessons she brings to us.

Thanks to everyone who has supported us as we figure out this parenting thing. We've come a long way since our days of killing cacti. We love you all.

(Click here to see the Flickr album)

Party Prep

2011-07-29T12:49:00.002-05:00

I have a lot to catch up on. Family reunion was great last weekend (above photo snapped while Jeromy was getting gas in the car). A whole post will be coming about that (the reunion, not getting gas).

Since then, I've been making lots of these...

And these...

And washing lots of these...

It has been fun to do crafty things again. It's been about TWO years since I've scrapbooked or have done anything of the sort. Maybe that's why I've gone (a little) overboard.

Paisley's birthday party is tomorrow (she'll officially be one on August 7, though). Totally excited and totally bummed at the same time (ack!). Excited to see her precious self dressed up and surrounded by all of our loved ones. Stoked for an excuse to order cupcakes from Hot Chocolates. And happy to have had the chance to make some fun decorations for her special day. But behind it all, I can't lie... I'm a little heartbroken at how fast the last year has gone. Is she really going to be one? Are we really counting things in years now instead of months?!? I feel like I can't even call her a "baby" anymore. And the majority of me is so so so ready to see her explore and grow and experience fun things. I can't wait for ballet recitals and playgrounds and coloring books and blowing bubbles in the backyard and playing with dolls and decorating cookies and all of the awesome things coming up. I don't have some complex where I want a forever baby or a doll to dress up (because frankly, I'm not that good at that stuff anyways). But it's just weird... everything has changed so fast. This time last year, she was rolling around in my tummy and now she's this bright, independent, vivid little person who is well on her way to great things. She is so special. It's been the best year of my life to see that process develop. Please tell me this bittersweet feeling is normal - my heart has been hurting all week. I would like to hope that most mommies get a little nostalgic each birthday as their child grows and enters new phases. I'll probably be saying the same thing next year to be honest. But there is much fun to be had this weekend as we celebrate such a sweet little soul. I am predicting that Paisley will either be elated at all of the fun or terrified of all the attention. We shall see.

In other news, Paisley will be starting to stay with the awesome Dafni and her sweet daughter, Jaylee next week. We met their awesome family through church and it seems like it is going to be a great fit for both of us right now. I'm sure Paisley will be delighted to have a play mate to learn from!

All three of us are going to take a trip to Killeen next month to visit my grandma and my aunt/uncle/cousins. It's been too long since I've seen them all and we are so anxious to get together and catch up.

Paisley has really been into animals lately. She hit a phase where she wasn't all that interested in stuffed animals and now she likes them a lot (especially ones that are as big or slightly bigger than her... heh). She giggles and chases after the dogs whenever she can. She even seems to lock in on books with animals moreso than other books. I so can't wait for it to cool down enough to go to the zoo! I used to think that taking young kiddos to the zoo was silly, but now I see how Paisley would probably get a genuine kick out of it (Although I'll still be mindful not to be one of those horribly rude stroller people who block everything... grr. Maybe I'll just Moby wrap her for it.).

Work has been going great. I'm thankful for a job in this economic climate and to work for good people who look out for me. It really is a blessing.

24 hours until birthday shenanigans - stay tuned for a fun post of party happenings!

First Bowl Experience

2011-07-23T00:42:00.003-05:00

(Hip hip hooray for the fact that Jeromy fixed my photo editing software so that I can post even more photos of Paisley on a regular basis. Heh. No, seriously - I am so so so excited to have my stuff working again.)

Miss P has been trying to take the spoon away from me when I feed her, so we invested in some suction cup bowls and let her go to town this evening (after starting out with easy finger foods). The rest is history...

July Happenings

2011-07-22T13:02:00.002-05:00

I have some snapshots from the past week as well as 10 and 11-month posts for Paisley in my camera, but my photo software is on the blitz (which converts my images) and Jeromy has been really busy and not able to be my personal IT department. So I'm limited to phone images. Heh.

Paisley's birthday party is in about a week. I have been busy making paper wheels and still have a lot to do, including making tissue poms and such. I'm really excited to see her in her outfit and to celebrate with loved ones. We finally decided on what we are going to buy her as gifts and I'm happy that she'll have some new (more age appropriate) toys to play with. Although, at the moment, she only seems to be interested in finding and chewing on my flip flops or cruising around the ottoman.

Last week's efforts of workouts and calorie tracking (via Sparkpeople) yielded over four pounds lost. I was pretty excited. I don't seem to be feeling the same type of progress this week, but I also haven't been able to lift weights for the last couple of days since my arm has been sore from my little procedure. I expect little progress from this week and plan to dive back in hard next week.

I had Implanon inserted in my arm last fall and have been having (horrid) side effects since (found out that it happens to around 10% of ladies). I finally went and got the sucker removed this week and am soooo happy. I'm sure my body will be thrilled to be back to normal again! The removal didn't hurt as bad as I thought, so that is a blessing for sure!

Lackey Reunion is this weekend and I'm stoked. We had thought we couldn't go due to the house being under contract, but now that things fell through, we can see and catch up with everyone! I'm a little nervous about driving that far with Paisley since she has started to not like being in her car seat for long, but we'll see how it goes.

The date night last week was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. The vendor that rented out the theater gave everyone vouchers for popcorn/drinks and had door prizes. The movie was fantastic and it was nice (although weird) to spend time with my sweetie solo. We talked about Paisley most of the time. But she is totally our favorite topic. We are so thankful that Janie could watch Paisley while we watched the last Harry Potter film. I can't wait until we can go to movies as a family!

This heat is getting a little out of hand. Susan and Jeff's water line broke last week and Jeromy and everyone spent Saturday in that hot hot sun replacing the line. I couldn't believe how red some of them got... so crazy! But I'm sure it'll cool down before we know it and then we can claim our bragging rights for weather during the winter (at least I don't have to shovel heat to get out of my driveway!). :)

Things are going great and I'm looking forward to an eventful weekend. Tonight, we're having a "dessert potluck" with a group of friends. Genius! Expect yummy things on my next post. :)

Update

2011-07-11T16:44:00.002-05:00

For people that have absolutely nothing big going on in their lives, we were really busy this weekend. We had kinda slacked off in housework and laundry once we got a signed contract on the house, so we worked on getting things "show worthy" again. It's interesting to get into the habit of making your house look like nobody actually lives there. Minimal laundry in the hamper. No dishes in the sink. Everything in place. And when you have a kiddo who loves to empty out containers of... well, anything, it's like shoveling snow in a blizzard as they say. Heh. But it's not horrible, especially with the help of my sweet hubs. I'm so thankful for a husband who pitches in with housework and baby work and that we can split up duties. I'm glad that Paisley has such a wonderful example in her life to mold her expectations of a partner.

Jeromy took Bacon to get her shots and apparently, she was the belle of the ball and got lots of attention. Turco gets his next weekend. We want to make sure they are all up to date on everything in case we get in a situation where they need to be boarded for a week or two in between moves. The uncertainty of what is going to happen lingers a bit over the both of us.

For the last couple of weeks, we have been using the cash envelope system recommended by Dave Ramsey. I love it and wish we had been doing it all along. I plan to post on it later once we have more experiences to share. Anyone else doing this and have tips???

Now that I'm not "getting the house ready to sell" or "trying to find a new place to live stat," I have decided to re-commit to my fitness. I have resumed my 5:00 a.m. workouts. Starting today. Ugh but so needed. I had gotten into a good groove before the house effort took over and hope to reclaim the same vigor I had before. This first morning was hard, though, I won't lie. At the end, I literally bent over and laid my head in my hands on the floor and waited for my lung to explode. It didn't.

I am so so so excited about Thursday. A vendor for Jeromy's work has given him tickets (with concession vouchers... nom nom!) for Harry Potter. Advance screening. In 3D. I loooove dates with my sweetie and it's one thing we need to improve on. The last movie we saw was actually Harry Potter last November. Haven't had a chance to get to the theater since. It's the last movie and I can't wait to find out what happens. I haven't read the books and have blocked out all talk of endings over the last few years so that I can be surprised. Stoked.

Paisley received her first pair of snazzy shoes this weekend. She has not really worn shoes much up until now, but with her learning to walk and wanting to be put down everywhere, it is time. I felt bad because I found a blister on her toe from scootching around on the floor - bad mom right here. *points to self* Even though we are the consignment sale pros and typically buy toys/clothes secondhand, I feel weird about shoes that have been molded to another kid's foot. Until she gets to an age where she can accurately tell me about pain/discomfort, I want to get her the best footwear. Nothing is worse than ill fitting shoes. She has years of wearing heels to find that out... but not on my watch. The nice lady at Stride Rite measured P's foot (size 3.5) and told us she has wide feet. Heh. My sweet little chunk. I love the feel and fit and can see how they stand out compared to cheaper kids' shoes. I think we'll be splurging on footwear for a while (even though they cost more than three pairs of my shoes).

SO enjoyed quality/down time with Miss P. We got an expanded little glimpse of her personality this weekend. She is trying sooo hard to pull up to standing unassisted. She can get to her knees on the ottoman and every now and then, she'll plant a foot and then... she bails and falls over. Jeromy and I were both looking at her when an attempt failed. She didn't topple hard at all and she just looked totally embarrassed and started to cry. She actually hugged my neck and buried her head into me... sweet girl's pride was hurt. It happened again when she tried and we got the same expression from her. She hates when I try to help her with anything and is fiercely independent. When we do the "finger walk" thing, she pushes away my hand on one side and then tries to push away the other finger and then she falls. When I get her dressed in the mornings, she helps to pull her shirt over her head and immediately starts to try to find her left arm hole... and if I don't present it for her fast enough, she gets frustrated. Any negative expression of hers is quickly melted by a funny face or song and she explodes with a gum/tooth smile that makes her eyes squint in the most delightful fashion. It's so fun to see her develop into a little girl and to better understand this soul that has been sent into our stewardship. She is vibrant and quick. She wants little assistance to accomplish her tasks. She is saturated with emotion. And she is ours. Most days, I honestly don't feel worthy of such a blessing. I love her and as the shadow of all things "baby" moves and fades (and subsequently breaks my heart), I'm intrigued by the new colorful world of "pre-toddler" and it is so exciting to explore and laugh with her. We recently walked a toy aisle and it donned on me that before too long, we'll be in a fun world of dolls and kitchen sets and dress up and Legos and tea sets and I totally can't wait. I look forward to playing with her and engaging her imagination.

This time last year, I was so scared. I didn't know how to be a parent (and I still don't - ha!). I wasn't sure about the whole labor/delivery thing. I didn't know how to take care of a baby. When we brought Paisley home, I was completely petrified of doing something wrong. I wish that I could time travel and tell Mandy of 2010 that it was going to be okay. That it was going to rock. To take more pictures (and be in more pictures even though I'm shaped like a lumpy lemon). To have more snuggle time. And to not worry so much. But such is the course of all new moms, eh? And what's weird... I'm not that new to this anymore. In a matter of weeks, Jeromy and I can lay claim to a full year of experience. Crazy. I feel like ther real parenting begins now... shaping her character. Teaching her boundaries (aka - not pulling Daddy's glasses off every time he holds her). Sharing. Big stuff coming up. I'm totally intimidated by toddler-hood, but maybe in 2012, I'll be wishing I can tell myself today that it is going to rock and to not worry.

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect Two Hundred

2011-07-08T12:31:00.003-05:00

Yeah... so we're back to square one.

Our buyers' lending fell through. I feel really bad for them - they seemed to really love the house. The guy only had one year of self employment financial docs (he was a salary worker before that) and you have to have at least two years worth before qualifying. Blarg. So they can't get any house for another year... super bummer.

I'm obviously disappointed but that's okay. I know without a doubt that God is aware of our desires/goals and that everything will happen when it is the right time if we just keep doing what we are supposed to do. While we were more than able to make things happen quickly, I can appreciate that I now have time again to focus on P's upcoming party and general "life" things. If keeping my house in a nobody-actually-lives-here state is my biggest problem, I can do that easily.

When we went house hunting last Saturday, nothing stuck out as the house of our dreams. It was really discouraging at the time. We found two this Wednesday we really liked, but had caught wind of potential lending issues by then. Had we found those two houses on Saturday, it would have been likely that we'd have put down an offer and paid for an inspection by the time Wednesday rolled around. It was a big blessing that our terminated contract didn't result in a loss of funds on our end.

Paisley has been such a delight - even more so than usual. She has really been babbling and having conversations in her own little language. She laughs and giggles frequently. I think she is on the verge of giving me a good, strong "mama" any day now. She also started crawling with her belly off the floor yesterday. And she'll cruise around furniture. All of these actions were things that we have been looking for Paisley to do to meet her targets. She has been getting a lot of help from her Lolee and Dee-Dee, who spend the day playing and interacting with her. We are so excited! I can see Paisley's desire to walk and I know that we're just around the corner from having a full-out toddler. Crazy. Her two top teeth are coming in and even so, she hasn't had episodes of extreme upset like she did when her bottoms came through. She is such a good kiddo and I'm truly humbled to have her. I've been told by others that she is an easy baby and I have to agree. Even though I haven't babysat kids much before having my own, I've been surprised that the last 11 months have not been as overwhelming as I thought they would have been. Things are different and everything takes longer, but it's been doable. And it never feels like work since she is just so friggin' adorable. I still have that heart-is-going-to-explode feeling when I see her, especially in the mornings when she peeks her head up over her crib or after work when I pick her up from Mom's. I hate being away from her.

That's about all that is going on. We went from zero to sixty in no time and just as fast, we've gone back to zero. Heh. Looking forward to a weekend of crafting and family time. Whee!

Happy 4th!

2011-07-04T22:44:00.002-05:00

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July!

Had a lovely Friday night dinner with friends at Joe T. Garcia's... one of my fav spots this time of year!

Edited my last wedding and was so happy that it is such a strong set. Delighted to end on a great note and am excited to get these photos to the bride and groom!

The rest of our weekend has been filled with searching for a home. We walked though nine houses on Saturday (a huge thanks to Dafni for babysitting Paisley at the last minute) and found one we like but are not completely sure of. Surprisingly, it was the smallest, which will pose some interior design challenges, but not impossible. We have a second string of houses we did "drive bys" of today in an effort to streamline our showings with our realtor. We're hoping to have some luck with those.

Had Mom and Dad over for hamburgers this evening and enjoyed their company. Rounded out the long weekend by going to see fireworks, which we left early due to someone getting completely terrified...

Back to work tomorrow. Looking forward to what this week will bring!

Good News Everywhere

2011-07-01T12:39:00.004-05:00

Just this week alone, there has been amazing news for our loved ones and ourselves...

The Shumway family was sealed together this week. They have endured through more trials than just about anyone I know and have weathered it all with grace. The adoption of their son was recently finalized and they are an eternal family. Huzzah indeed.

We have an official contract on our house. I know I addressed this in an earlier post, but it's still fun to say.

Amy won The Real Women of Philidelphia contest! Amy is hands down one of the most amazing people I've ever met. She is the personification of a cute Pinterest board and has the most beautiful soul. She deserves every prize out there and I'm so happy that she has such a wonderful opportunity through this contest to share her talents!

My sister in law, Susan, just got a new job and starts next week. We are so excited for her!

Keishah is officially a stay at home mommy as of this week. I got to snuggle and hold sweet Ezra yesterday and am melted at his adorable face. So tickled that she gets to spend all of her time watching him grow!

My mother became a consultant for Shelf Reliance and is very excited to start this new journey teaching people about food storage and emergency preparedness.

Our friend, Ashley, accepted a job offer and it starts the week after her current job will end - amazing timing.

Despite the news and reports of all the horrid things going on, it's nice to look around and see blessings flowing everywhere!

A Full July

2011-06-30T16:21:00.007-05:00

(The above photo is taken of Paisley just minutes before we got "the call" with "the news" while hanging out with some friends. She is intense with her people watching by the way.)

A lot has changed. Again. In an amazing way.

In less than two weeks of listing, we were blessed with an offer on our house and there is now a contract in place. The future owners want to close towards the end of July. A miracle in this market and economy. It sounds like they fell in love with the house and I'm glad to hand over our home to people who will adore it as much as we do. I hope the walls will continue to envelope smiles and sweet memories in the way they have done for us. It's sad to leave a place we adore so much, but knowing the opportunities our new situation will afford keeps us looking ahead with excitement.

So...now we need to find a place to live.

I have no idea what city we are going to land in (staying in Tarrant County, though... let's not get too crazy). Or what kind of house. Or anything. But that's okay. We have truly been guided by the Lord in all of this and I know we'll find the perfect spot. I have learned the hard way that if I am still, God's plan ends up being way better than anything I had ever imagined. I'm calm about the result. It's just the logistics of it all that are tugging at me a smidge (because let's face it - I'm still me). But we can do it. In the next few weeks, yours truly (and hubs) will -

Find a babysitter for Saturday while we house hunt on July 4th weekend when everyone and their dog has plans or is out of town

Look at houses (fun!) and hopefully find a home we love and start the process on buying a house

Edit my June wedding (my software went on the blitz and I'm working with Nikon to resolve the issue - eep!)

Get stuff made/ordered/arranged for Paisley's awesome party (invitations, a bum-load of tissue poms, favors, food, etc. - such a blast!)

Pack our entire house (luckily, a big chunk is already in storage thanks to our staging efforts)

Relocate (hopefully straight into a new home)

Go to Haskell for a family reunion the weekend before closing on our current home

Close on two houses (*shakes fists excitedly*)

Have Paisley's first birthday party (yay!) two days after closing on our current house

Having all of this happen so quickly and starting a new phase of life is just... a-friggin-mazing. It's going to be be a busy month or two, but it's all "good busy." People relocate all the time, and often under more stressful conditions. My mind is already abuzz with new decorating opportunities (darn you, Pinterest), as I want to take a new direction. I'm so so so excited and happy.

I have high hopes and plans for this next house to be a special place for us. I want to give Paisley roots. I want her to have the same set of friends as she goes through school and church. I want our walls and hallways and rooms to be filled with memories and wonderful recollections. I want our home to be part of our family fabric. I want to invest time and energy and make this next place our own and to have years to enjoy our work. These things are really important to us and so I don't want to rush into something we settle for (even if [blarg] it means that we live in an extended stay inn and hire a long-term pet sitter in between houses). This is the last time I want to move for a long while.

My heart is full of gratitude. And my internet history is full of MLS numbers. :)

A special shoutout to my buddy, Amy, who is a dessert finalist in the Paula Deen "Real Women of Philidelphia"contest. She has been spending the week having a blast with the contestants and Miss Paula herself. In less than two hours, she will find out if she won the grand prize. You can watch live (6:00 p.m. Central) HERE. Go Amy!

9 months

2011-06-25T22:09:00.002-05:00

Totally late on this... I've had the photos taken and the entry written for a while now and just never published. Month 10 is written, too, but I'm having some photo software problems at the moment. 'Twill be posted soon!

Nicknames: Pais, Pais-a-lini, Squirt, Little Monster, Stinky McFinky, Finky, Monkey
Temperament: You have started to figure out what you want and let your emotions show to the full extent. If food is “all gone” and you’re still hungry, you let out the most pitiful little wail. On the other hand, if you are happy, you just beam and let it show. You are full of smiles and love to charm just about anyone. I love seeing you get tickled with yourself when you learn something new and how you look back at us with a “Did you see that?!?” expression. We saw, Paisley, and we are so proud. You are definitely acting more like a “big girl” and wanting to explore new things. I love that about you and I can’t wait as we learn more together!
Things I Could Do Without: Your odd fear of your “Grumpa” who loves you so but you cry and act scared of him. Little do you know that he is a sucker for you and has all sorts of adventures up his sleeve. And the occasional separation anxiety – there was one morning where you cried when I dropped you off and I bawled the entire way to work. On days like that, I can’t wait to scoop you up back into my arms.
Item/Toy We Love The Most: Anything you can gnaw on. You are chewing on everything and I especially like the soft animals with the rubber hands/feet that you teethe on. With teeth due any day now, they seem to offer you some temporary relief.
Item/Toy You Love The Most: Your walk around table (we call it the “Paisley go ‘round”) – you like pushing the piano keys and are really getting the hang of going around in circles on it. It’s really cute when you hold your arms up and walk in it… you look like a little dinosaur or something!
Things I’m Loving Most Right Now: The new skills you are learning – Nana taught you how to use a sippy cup this month and you are a pro at it! The way you tilt up your head to smile and make your “pirate face” (with one eye bigger than the other). You waved for the first time at Dee-Dee. You used sign language for the first time (“milk”). The fact that you aren’t allergic to bananas or strawberries like we thought you might be (your Nana and Daddy are allergic to them, respectively). The fun, girlie clothes you get to wear (and how your chubby thighs look in them – pinchable!). That Lolee got you on a great schedule. That you are getting better about feeding yourself without choking. The way you peek up around the crib bars in the morning to see me coming for you – you smile so big.
Things You’re Loving Most Right Now: grabbing; reaching; watching your cousin, Joshua, fuss over you; food (especially the Gerber star puffs); petting the noses of your doggies (Turco and Bacon); rubbing tags on blankets, bibs, etc.; riding in Nana’s truck; floor time with Lolee; people watching; taking off your shoes and chewing on them (which is why you are barefoot 98% of the time); taking off your diaper when we’re not looking (ask Daddy about that one)
Other Milestones/Fun Things: used sign language for the first time (“milk”); you wave for the first time (to Dee-Dee); Mommy’s first overnight work trip (it was hard!); first Easter – we went to church with Grumpa and Dee-Dee made a yummy meal

Calm

2011-06-23T12:37:00.002-05:00

A lot has changed. In a good way.

Last week, we spent a lot of time working on finishing touches and deep cleaning before our open house. We still had some things we wanted to "stage" and I even took off a day of work so that I could have uninterrupted time to tackle the last of it. Things went well and now, my biggest problem in life is keeping my house clean for showings (well, and going to work and normal stuff, but no biggie). I LOVE that.

Even though I still have one wedding on my plate to edit, I feel so care- and stress-free. I woke up more energetic today than I have been in months. For the last three evenings, we've been able to handle what we need to do and still have free time. I'm getting a chance to prepare some Red Brick entries up from shoots last year that I really want to post. We were able to sit down and update our budget and get things in place to move to an all-cash system (something that we had yet to do in following Dave Ramsey's program). We're able to have honest-to-goodness quality play time with Paisley in the evenings without fitting in another task alongside. I can get to bed at a decent hour (which means I need to start back on my 5:00 a.m. workouts I had started doing). We have time to spend with loved ones. If this is our new life, I love it. Jeromy claims normal people live like this all the time. Heh. I'm really seeing the fruits of the decision to scale back/stop my photography work and the completion of our house projects.

I'm so excited.

Paisley has made amazing progress on motor skills and her specialist noticed it on Tuesday. She even pulled up to her knees in front of her! I'm so tickled that we won't need to do regular appointments and that Paisley is doing so well. In fact, Paisley scored three months ahead on personal/social skills and adaptive skills. And she blows kisses now. When this adorable move is paired with the "wave," it makes for a powerful combination. We are so screwed. Kid will get whatever she wants if she starts busting those moves out.

I'm so grateful with how everything has come together this year. We set out with a goal of 2011 being the "Year of Better." Life was good, but we knew we needed to shift some things to align with our priorities. while I still have plenty of room to grow in some areas, there have been a lot of improvements. We know where we want to go and we know how to get there. There are still some big variables out there, mainly related to the timing on when our house will sell, but that's okay. Whether it happens quickly or down the road, I can appreciate this phase for however long it lasts. And I truly truly know that everything is going to happen in God's timing and that we'll land in the perfect place.

(speaking of perfect, Paisley's little lips are so sweet...)

Listed

2011-06-16T10:16:00.002-05:00

Check out our official listing here.

Open house this Saturday.

Eeeee!!

Empty Plate

2011-06-14T13:04:00.004-05:00

Guess who can sit herself up unassisted AND army crawl like nobody's business?

Yep. We are so proud. Paisley's next appointment is in a week and I can't wait for her specialist to see how much progress she has made. She still won't make the "ba, ga, da, la, etc." sounds but that is okay. I have a feeling that this little one just has her own way.

The weekend was bananas. Full of last minute house projects and cleaning and staging. But it's done. And now...

We are officially for sale. Well, our house. Not us. I think our listing will appear online tomorrow. Our realtor, Dillon McDonald, is so on top of things and is already arranging for an open house on Saturday - eek! I'm crazy excited and know that we are in good hands. It is also nice to have conquered our looong list of items and just focus on "maintenance."

Shot my last wedding on Saturday in Colleyville. It went fantastic and Jeromy was my second shooter. Ironically, when I got home from the wedding, I got an inquiry in for a bride that is getting married at the same place next year. Heh. I'm kinda bummed about not doing weddings anymore, but it's nice to have my load lightened. I still have some sessions I'm doing for some of our close friends, but that will feel more like fun and play since I know them so well and can experiment with some ideas.

With the house on the market and Red Brick finished up, what am I going to do with myself?!?

Fun, that's what. And refocus.

This sounds completely selfish, but I'm looking forward to improving myself and improving my ability to care for my family. I'm excited to really dig deep and tackle my 101 in 1,001 list. My current fascination is getting ready for Paisley's birthday party (in late July). I started an inspiration board on Pinterest and while our party will be nowhere near as cute as any of those photos, it's fun to steal some ideas. Pinterest has become an unhealthy obsession... let me know if you are part of it and I'll follow you.

I'm so excited that my empty plate is going to allow us to taste some new experiences and redefine our "norm." Whee!