Upside Down

Things are a little upside down lately.

Which does not lend itself to rational/healthy perspective (and thus triggers a teary panic attack in the middle of the kitchen around 8:00 about how I have let myself go and how we'll never sell the house [never mind it's not on the market at the moment] and how I feel I have no control over anything and that I want to bleach everything but don't have the energy).

I'm trying to remember the big picture. I'm trying to rely on my Heavenly Father to sustain us through this. I'm doing better about asking for help in my prayers. I know that His hand has gotten us this far. That the last two nights of Paisley sleeping without waking was a way for Jeromy and I to recharge. My work day today hasn't been nearly as busy as recent weeks and I know that the mental break was a blessing. I'm grateful for this exercise in patience and endurance. I just need to do a better job about keeping perspective.

Jeromy blew out an ear drum and is in severe pain. I'm still recovering from whatever plague this is. And poor Paisley is just in the middle - doing her thing. But we are chugging along. I expect to feel better soon. This can't last forever.

I've said it before, but I'm so happy to have a child who doesn't know any better. Who is too young to know that our dinners have been lackluster. Who doesn't care that I skipped our second/third bedtime book the last few nights (as well as a verse in our goodnight song). That she doesn't realize I'm running on fumes. I'm thankful that despite all my shortcomings, she is still so happy and vibrant. And that she'll clap for me every time I sing "Itsy Bitsy" and do the hand movements. Even at my worst, she thinks I'm pretty awesome.

I'm so happy to have a child who doesn't know any better.

(PS - we actually had dinner that didn't come from a drive thru tonight. Pretty awesome, eh?)